Overcoming Inertia, AKA, Getting Off my Butt

Avoidance. I do it well. My kids have been suggesting lately that I get out and do more things, to which I respond that I like being home with them, and am more than ready to just crash on Friday nights after working all week.

So it was with a giant pry bar that I disengaged myself from the couch to go to my church's retreat this past weekend. I delayed packing. I gave myself an escape clause. And I fretted.

"I don't know many people. What's it going to be like spending a whole weekend with them?"

 I feel like I have new sisters now.

"Will the bunks be comfortable?"

 I won the toss for the only bed in the room.

"Will the speaker have anything valuable to say?"

Donna Ebert's talks on the spiritual disciplines of prayer, Scripture-reading, solitude and Sabbath rest were uplifting and challenging.

"And what about this yoga piece they're offering? I like the exercises, but how will I handle it if things become New-Agey?"

They didn't; Mindy Marcozzi-Drake of Agape Health and Yoga did an awesome job of keeping it God-centered.

"Will I keep my roommates awake by snoring?"

I stopped short of tossing earplugs into my luggage to spare my bunk mates, but not before scavenging through the linen closet for a pair.

All my fears were unfounded. I had a Spirit-filling, heart-expanding, body-nurturing, rockin' good time.

Guess it's good to get off the couch now and then...

Husbands and Wives in the Image of Christ and the Church

I've been reading Tim Keller's The Prodigal God, a fine book with some excellent points about the well-known prodigal son parable. In today's reading, I was struck with a lightning bolt about a section of Scripture I've read dozens of times, Ephesians 5. Keller introduced the passage by explaining that marriage at the time Paul wrote the epistle to Ephesus was often about the money and position a wife could bring to her husband. Sex outside of marriage was apparently commonplace, so wives couldn't necessarily count on being the only recipients of their husbands' affections.

At times, I have found myself justifying the sticking point about wifely submission that many get hung up on. I always explain patiently that Paul charges the husband with loving his wife in a Christ-like fashion, commensurate with the care he takes of his own body, thus making submission a joyful and non-threatening thing for wives to do.

Two things never dawned on me. One, Paul promises husbands a reward for their tender care of their wives. He has the confidence to assert that wifely beauty will result from husbands' sacrificial love. I'm not convinced an ugly duckling would be magically transformed into a glorious swan, but I suspect he means love and adoration have the capacity to bestow attractiveness on the object of admiration. These insights put the whole chapter into a revelatory new light for me.

Secondly, 30 out of the 33 verses in chapter 5 of Ephesians admonish husbands on how to behave in marriage. Verses 3-15 contain directives about pure living in general, and sexual morality in particular. Verse 18 urges them not to get drunk; verse 21 tells spouses to submit to one another. Paul's last verse clinches his point, driving home the message of men loving their wives in the same way they love themselves (lest any arrogant Ephesians should interpret his words as license to lord it over submissive wives). In short, he seems to spend an inordinate amount of time advising husbands to earn their wives' trust. Then, almost as an afterthought, he reminds wives to respect their husbands.

I came away agape at the intensity with which Paul argues his case for defenseless women who, at that point in history, were essentially the property of their husbands. His instructions to wives seem sensible and reasonable, when considered in the context of Paul's weighty advice to their husbands.

Just thought I'd share the wealth.

For more like this, check out: Morsels for Meditation...: Babies, Big and Small

Morsels for Meditation...: Seasons

Love and Latkes (with thanks to Malka Drucker, whose book "Grandma's Latkes" and the recipe therein, were the basis of our feast)

Today our neighbor Anita, who holds a special place in our hearts, gave us the most wonderful gift.

She let us cook for her.

She said - and I believe her - that she adored every bite.

Anita truly is a gourmet cook, and our family has had more than its share of incredible meals at her table. We have feasted on Peking duck wrapped in homemade crepe pancakes, shrimp in cream sauce, hot out of the oven cakes and pastries (from scratch, naturally) with frosting that's to die for...

Let me stop before I open the fridge and expand my waistline even more than it's already grown during this holiday season.

The problem with cooking for someone with such expertise is obvious. How can one with minimal talent in the kitchen hope to please the palate of a connoisseur?

Still, for Anita's holiday gift, my boys set out to make potato latkes for her. My son's dear friend, whom I affectionately refer to as "third son," joined in with gusto, and before we knew it, we had an assembly line of grating and mincing and mixing and frying that blended the aromas of onions, oil and, of course, potatoes into what I'm convinced love smells like.

The best part was how Anita gobbled them up. My culinary friend has a veritable cornucopia of tactful ways to decline seconds, ranging from "it's delicious, but I just ate," to "thank you, but I just can't afford the calories." None of these polite refusals was uttered or even hinted at today. Anita ventured forth calorically, eschewing common sense, and for once joined in our family's habitual piggery. She declared our little pancakes the best ever and, along with the rest of us, indulged freely (sans utensils - commonplace for me and my tribe but, under ordinary circumstances, unthinkable for her), standing up, clutching steamy, starchy cakes with oil-fingered abandon.

It was a gluttonous love fest.

I told Anita that her genuine enthusiasm for the boys' labor of love (she would have choked one down for the kids' sake, because that's the way she is, even if they had emerged gummy and inedible) was a true gift to all of us. Every one of us felt sheer delight at her sheer delight.

I can't think of a better way to start out the new year.

Low Branches

A friend of mine had two elf-sized helpers over to decorate her Christmas tree the other day. The thing that was so cute about it, she smiled recollecting, was that they were too tiny to reach anything but the lowest branches. Consequently, the ornamentation is somewhat (no, very) unbalanced; but the little girls took great delight in their handiwork, such as it was, because from their vantage point, it looked colorful and glittery and perfect.

I smiled as I listened to this story. Long ago, I hung a plaque on my bedroom wall which said simply, "Reach up as far as you can, and God will reach down to you" (author unknown). The apostle James said it this way: "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8).

What a Savior.

Called Off the Bench

It's nice, and fits securely into our comfort zone, when we get to set our own agendas. Pursuing a career path; responding to a marriage proposal; even planning a family — all are situations which, as Christians, we can say "yes" or "no" to, calling on almighty counsel to guide our choices.

But there are other times when the Coach chooses us. Times when we are called upon to stand for or against something, and when we get right down to it, there's really only one right choice to be made.

Esther realized this. So did David. Jonah figured it out at crunch time, but better late than never.

Elisha asked God for a double portion of His Spirit (2 Kings 2:9-15) so he could pick up where Elijah left off. As I continue to "do the next right thing" in the current arduous task He has assigned me, I'm putting in a request for a double portion of His heavenly mind. I need to be able to think clearly under pressure, on my feet as it were, things which don't come easily to me.

And I need to remember that the players on the other team are made in God's image too, and He ultimately gets to decide who wins the game.

Winston Churchill summed it up nicely: "A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality."

He put his money where his mouth was, and stood up to Hitler. 

Now that it's my turn to come off the bench, can I do any less?

For more like this, check out: Morsels for Meditation...: Fear That Said Its Prayers

Morsels for Meditation...: Obedience vs. Outcome

Fear That Said Its Prayers

When Dorothy Bernard said, "Courage is fear that has said its prayers," she must have been thinking of me. I'm not a wave maker, a rule breaker, or a boat rocker. But I do stand up for myself when I have to. More importantly, I like to think I stand up for the underdog, even if it costs me.

Last week I blogged about a faith challenge that I'm in the middle of. So far this has involved having some uncomfortable discussions (for these I drew on the advice of an old friend who once promised God that she would place a difficult phone call, but He would have to do the talking), as well as many hours of thought and prayer. I'm not sure what else this trial will entail, but in less than a week, God has provided ample resources for the task at hand.

My prayer partner, Tina, and I were looking at some Scripture that speaks to this situation. In 2 Kings 6:15-17, Elisha's servant succumbs to fear when he surveys the vast army possessed by Israel's enemies. He cries out in desperation, "Alas, my master! What shall we do?"

To which Elisha replies, "Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them."

The servant's eyes are then opened to see multitudes of horses and chariots of fire surrounding the two
men of God.

Just a little glimpse of His heavenly arsenal.

For more like this, check out:

Morsels for Meditation...: Obedience vs. Outcome

Morsels for Meditation...: Called Off the Bench

Obedience vs. Outcome, AKA, Knotted Up

There seems to be some dispute as to who wrote the following prayer, commonly known as The Serenity Prayer, but several sources I checked credit the 20th Century pastor, Reinhold Niebuhr, with penning it in the 1940s:

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

My prayer partner, Tina, and I were discussing this heavenly appeal today in connection with a faith challenge I'm working through. This particular matter is of no small significance, and has me somewhat knotted up when I let myself think about it. Tina is a good listener and an excellent adviser, and she reminded me of this simple prayer as I kvetched about my problem. She also compared worrying to sitting in a rocking chair, i.e., using up lots of energy to get absolutely nowhere.

After Tina and I had finished praying over my "Goliath," the phone rang again. This time it was another friend with a Philistine giant of her own. I told her I really had no advice to offer (this being a legal and family matter), but pointed her to the One who does. We began reading and praying through various passages of Scripture that pertain to difficulties and threatening situations. Together we looked at 1 Corinthians 10:13, in which God promises not to give us more than we can bear; the story of Gideon, detailing the Israelites' victory over oppressors using a small squadron of men, torches, and clay jars; and the account of King Jehoshophat, where God's people were told simply to suit up and show up for battle, and God would do the rest. 

We also considered Isaiah 55:8: "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" This reminded us that, as uncomfortable as life's curve balls may be, our Creator has a plan and we're not always privy to it. We're responsible for obedience, not outcome.

So I'm taking trembling steps toward resolution, knowing I'm walking in angelic and almighty company. It's also helping to recall past situations that have been gut-wrenching, muscle-building, and soul-stretching. I was pleasantly surprised to remember having survived several dozen slippery, unpleasant trials with hard-headed adversaries, only to come out stronger by the grace of God.

Why should this one be any different?

Check out Chris Tomlin's Whom Shall I Fear

For more like this, check out: 
Morsels for Meditation...: Fear That Said Its Prayers       Morsels for Meditation...: Called Off the Bench

Seasons

We're in the middle of a "Nor'easter" here in Havertown. The wintry mix has turned our autumn-colored foliage frosty white. Yesterday's crisp, dry leaves, heaped high atop the curbs awaiting collection, have morphed into soggy, limp piles of refuse.

In the midst of this terrible weather, our dear friend Anita has traveled north to watch her elder son marry. Several years ago, the cold winds of November howled as his beloved wife lost her fight with cancer. Tomorrow he will crush a wine glass as his new bride looks on from under the chuppah. They will begin life together as husband and wife, and the tears of yesterday will make tomorrow's rejoicing that much sweeter.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart..." Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

                                           MAZEL TOV, NEWLYWEDS!

For more like this, check out: 

Morsels for Meditation...: Husbands and Wives in the Image of Christ and the Church

Morsels for Meditation...: Babies, Big and Small

The Shame Game

I've never been one to bleed all over the Internet, and don't want to start now. Still, it seems disingenuous to write a blog based on personal experiences without injecting some degree of transparency. That said, I've been having some tough days. Not feeling comfortable in my own skin. Magnifying mistakes, having to really work to remember my successes and good points. In short, beating myself up mentally. I hate days like this, where I feel everything I'm doing is wrong, like no one's buying what I'm selling. That old shame game just can't wait to get going.

It's up to me to send it packing.

This is not how God would have me act towards myself. At times I am too hard on others, so is it any wonder that I should shift the laser beam homeward when I fail to live up to my own expectations? And vice versa; it stands to reason, if I work on being kinder to myself, doesn't it follow that I'll be gentler with others?

I am a child of God, and God DOESN'T MAKE JUNK! This statement may not be original, but it sure is true. No one can make me feel unworthy without my permission, and I withhold permission!

To borrow an expression from my support group, "Act as if..."
"Act as if you're feeling OK, even though you feel rotten."
"Act as if you're competent, even though your mind is telling you otherwise."
"Act as if you believe in yourself, no matter how ill at ease you feel."

"Fake it till you make it" is another slogan from the same program, and has similar meaning.

One of the toughest parts for me is finding the truth in criticism. Sifting through the hurt and feelings of worthlessness that  suck me down like a whirlwind when I perceive someone else is displeased with me. I'm practicing the art of correcting mistakes without falling prey to self-deprecation. Recognizing areas I could improve upon without whipping myself for not doing them in the first place.

In other words, allowing myself to bloom without despising the inevitable weeds.

"... you are HIGHLY esteemed..." ~ Daniel 9:23b

Breaking Even...

... that's what I feel like I've been doing lately, in most areas of my life. Financially, I've been somewhat stalled (!) since buying my new car last summer. Not that I regret it for one minute. It was long overdue, and it's been absolutely heavenly not to worry about start-ups and breakdowns. Still, my bank account took a hit and hasn't really recovered yet. The scale has been stuck at an unpleasant number for several years now, despite my increased exercise regime (I guess the old theory about an inverse relationship between food and weight loss must have some truth to it). My book has been rejected by two publishers. And I have the typical concerns for my children's health, education, and, most importantly, spiritual growth.

Psalm 42:5 says, "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." When I look at my life, at the various waves coming at me from upstream, I sometimes get scared and discouraged. I let small matters like sticking doorknobs and chimney repairs get me down. Instead of cheering for myself and my family, I sink into a rut with walls which are very hard to scale. But when I stop to re-examine the facts - I own a new car; the scale hasn't gone down, but it hasn't gone up either, and my body's got to be better for the exercise; I actually wrote a book and submitted it to publishers; my kids are hanging in there, with all their struggles, and are right there paddling with me - well, it's then that I realize the Psalmist indeed has a point.

After all, better to be treading water than to go under...