Jaundiced Eye

Update 2/17/19: Readers, I caught the tail end of a radio broadcast on 2/15/19 that brought this message home. It's not necessary to listen to the whole broadcast (although it's only 10 minutes). The part that pertains to what I'm referencing in this blog article starts at 7:35. I have included it here. I highly recommend Dr. Harry Reeder's broadcasts, which are available weekday mornings at 7:20 AM on WVCH, 740 AM. 

Hawthorne’s Anti-Heroes

Nathaniel Hawthorne was a student of human nature. His short stories, Young Goodman Brown  and The Minister's Black Veil, portray two religious men whose views of humanity become seriously compromised by the fallen nature of those around them. Both turn bitter, trustless, and essentially friendless by the end of their lives. The former loses faith in all his neighbors and even his wife (ironically named Faith), and becomes essentially the poster child for holier-than-thou piety. Parson Hooper in the latter uses his gloomy veil to keep others at arm's length and distance himself from his fellow man.

 I “get” these two guys, just as I “get” where Hawthorne was coming from. Cultural shifts in recent years have led to extreme divisiveness, not just in the country, but also in our churches. Compound this with the fact that many who identify as Christians in one breath (and I use that phrase advisedly, as the word “identity” has become associated with all manner of subjective “truth” and personal whim) denounce longstanding Scriptural precepts as outdated and narrow-minded in the next.

What’s a believer to do? 

Historical Context

Well, let me start by saying what a believer is NOT to do. We are not to allow cynicism and pride to cloud our understanding of our fellow man. Human beings have always been susceptible to weakness and depravity. We have only to look at the first book of the Bible to establish this disappointing fact. Adam and Eve’s lost battle with the fruit, the world’s first murder and broken family, the tragic choices (complete with marital grief and incest) of Lot and his family. If these stories demonstrate anything, it’s that man’s sin nature has been alive and well since the foundation of the world, long before he had pocket access to "adult entertainment" and other ungodly activities.

Fast forward to the New Testament churches. The apostle Paul spilled cisterns of ink addressing judgmental hearts, sexual sin, idolatry and other misconduct that was being winked at and even condoned by those who should have known better.   

Expert Advice

I’ve probed two sound theological minds about our nation’s seeming race to dismiss all constraints on behavior, so as to become as debauched as possible as soon as possible. Rev. Dave Frampton asserts that, no matter how licentious the United States has become, we have yet to surpass the ungodliness of some of the early churches (check out Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church). Pastor Frampton's advice is to immerse ourselves in the Word, standing ready always to give an answer for the hope that is within us. In other words, we are to look for opportunities to share the Gospel in season and out of season - oh, how out of season it is these days! People may not listen, but our responsibility is simply to proclaim it. As President John Quincy Adams observed, "Duty is ours, results are God's." 

The other – my own pastor, Rev. Steve Lyon – has cautioned our congregation against allowing cynicism to corrupt its spiritual eyesight. According to Pastor Lyon, the root word, "cyn," relates to being dog-like, but not in warm, fuzzy, cuddle-up-with-friendly-Fido sorts of ways. Instead, it evokes an anti-social, snarling dog that drives others away. Pastor warns that cynicism leads to bitterness about the human condition, and puts a serious crimp in our ability to serve the Lord. I would add that it can cause us to view humanity as sort of an excrement-covered heap of worthlessness, much like the priest described in Zechariah 3. Again, this sort of viewpoint can only corrode our relationships with others both inside and outside of the church.
 

Instead, Pastor Lyon urges both patience and discernment as we deal with fellow believers. While it’s unwise to accept everyone at face value, neither is it helpful to search for devils around every corner. He concedes that not everyone who wears the banner of Christianity is a true believer, and we are wise to keep our distance from those who talk a good game but don't seem to be walking the walk. On the other hand, we need to allow room for growth. 

To underscore this latter point, Pastor uses an illustration many can relate to these days. Just as it isn't right to judge folks in a gym who haven't yet attained "Body Beautiful," neither should we condemn fellow believers who are struggling – maybe only limping – towards holiness. We're all works in progress; God honors sincere efforts to become more Christ-like, and is exceedingly patient as growth occurs; His followers ought to do likewise with one another.
 

The Great Dentist

Remember those school visits from dental hygienists that broke up the monotony of our day to day routine? They would invariably dim the lights at some point and do some kind of magical test that would reveal the unseen filth on our teeth. In the midst of our eight-year-old “eeews” of shock and disgust, we internalized an important life lesson: beneath external beauty, impurities always linger. The message we got was clear: no matter how hard we try, we will always miss something. While we may need to brush more thoroughly, ultimately only the trained hand of the dentist is able to remove that which the naked eye simply can’t visualize.

This is true of the human heart as well. No matter how hard we may try to scrub ourselves free of sin, we are essentially contaminated even before we’re born because the womb that housed us was likewise contaminated. Sinfulness is inevitable, but because of Christ, it doesn’t have to be terminal!

Fortunately, Christians are in league with the Great Physician, who moonlights as the Great Dentist. Our God's "tools" can penetrate the basest heart and the grimiest goo. We need not feel disheartened or disgusted as we ponder the state of the world.  

We're not in this alone! 

Treating the Jaundiced Eye

So, what do we do, in light of these unalterable facts? How do we avoid a self-righteous attitude like Hawthorne’s disillusioned clergymen, who refused to associate with tainted mankind? Do we shut ourselves away from humanity, hoping others’ sin won’t “rub off” on us? More to the point, would isolating ourselves even do any good, or would we simply become more and more disenchanted and alone, while keeping our flawed brethren at arm’s length?

I can only offer up solutions that are helping this Christian avoid falling prey to cynicism. Prayer without ceasing is God's overarching prescription for the jaundiced eye. This includes prayer, not only for those who are struggling with ongoing sin issues, but perhaps even more for those who appear to be “doing it right.”  Who knows but that they may be fighting unrelenting battles with the enemy, and needing God’s hand of help and sustenance to resist!

A huge part of prayer involves asking God to work out the sin issues in our own lives, as opposed to simply taking note of others’ misdeeds. Christ pointedly tells us to take a good, long look at our own failings before criticizing of those of our brothers. Ultimately, it’s up to the Holy Spirit to do that which we are incapable of doing ourselves – bringing us and our fellow man closer to God’s holy standard.

Second, we are called to use our spiritual gifts, whether or not they seem to be making much difference in those to whom we’re ministering. Notice I didn’t say “any difference.” Part of discernment is evaluating whether the efforts we pour into others’ lives are matched by similar efforts on the part of the recipients.

My friend has an apt expression: don’t work any harder than the person you’re helping. We are cautioned against casting pearls before swine. Rather, Christ admonishes us to shake the dust off our feet, i.e., remove ourselves from situations in which our message is rejected. A modern way of saying this is, “Don’t throw good money after bad.” I’m not suggesting we limit our communication and contact solely to those with whom we agree spiritually. I am saying our closest confidantes and ministry partners ought to be those who are striving towards the same ends and moving in the same direction that we are.

Ultimately, whether or not our work achieves the desired outcome is not in our hands. We can be sure that the exercise of prayer and use of our gifts will affect Godly results in us. Our responsibility begins and ends with obeying the Lord.

He’ll take care of the rest.

Kicking the Comfort Zone to the Curb

God took me out of my comfort zone this week.

I fell in the parking lot of my workplace the other day, bringing many an extra pound down on the right side of my body.

Ouch.

My ribs have been screaming for mercy ever since. I've been handling the problem appropriately - making phone calls and appointments, caring for myself with the help of loving family, but the long and the short of it is, I ended up in the ER yesterday.

Lest my reader is wondering, I don't do the ER.

Oh, I do it for other people - I'm very good at that.

Why not? I've had tons of practice, what with caring for sick parents, injured children, nervous friends. I'm great at advocating, advising, encouraging, and generally lending support.

See, I'm a person who helps others, NOT a person others help.

Oh, I've needed help over the years when life got messy.

And I've hated every minute of it.

I hated the situation that put me in a position of needing help, whether it was illness, incapacity, life drama - you name it.

And I hated needing help.

I figured out why yesterday.

Pride. Pure and simple.

There's a lot of talk going on these days about identity, and I find much of it ridiculous and even dangerous. But that's for another article.

Then again, maybe it's not.

Without taking this post in a completely different direction, let me just say, for the record, that self-perception can be misleading at best and devastating at worst.

For example, if I'm human but see myself as a gorilla, I put myself at an extreme disadvantage by seeking medical care from a vet as opposed to an MD.

But back to the main topic. The bottom line is, we all identify some way. We see ourselves in a certain light.

I like to see myself as someone who has overcome many obstacles, continues to overcome new ones, and generally makes her way in the world.

I've written extensively about the love and help from family and friends that picked me up when I couldn't do so for myself, and the voices that spoke truth and hope to me at the darkest times of my life. These interventions were nothing short of divine, the hands and mouthpieces of God, as it were. I'm not forgetting that for one moment.

Nevertheless, in day to day life, I enjoy getting things done. Tackling tasks and ticking them off my to-do list.

It kind of puts a crimp in that when you have to think before breaths and movements, taking into consideration in advance the best and least painful position to accomplish the aforesaid.

So, when I found myself in the ER, I felt vulnerable. Oh, and silly.

Because, as I said, I don't do the ER. At least, not for myself.

Things that helped?

Patient and caring medical staff who assured me I had reason to be there, despite my apologetic attitude (after all, I wasn't bleeding to death or even unconscious).

Several unlooked for blessings. My right hand, which is also my dominant hand, took part of the blow, but is functioning just fine. Likewise, my right knee and hip, for which I sought treatment through an arthritis doctor and physical therapy a few short years ago, show no signs of acting up. And, in testimony to God's infinite sense of humor and penchant for the absurd (think sacrificing His perfect Son for a horribly imperfect world), a heel spur on my right foot, which has been plaguing me for months, feels remarkably better!

Not least, a tattoo on the arm of a technician which spoke to my embarrassed heart. Again, for the record, I don't like tattoos (sorry, sons), finding them generally unappealing and altogether frivolous and unnecessary in a nation where people are going to bed hungry (not to mention the fact that God forbids them). That said, this one hit the proverbial spot.

It read simply, You are loved. You are worthy. You are enough.

A cross bracketed the whole phrase.

Resisting the urge to question the theology of the sentiment (if we were worthy and enough, why would the Son of God have had to die excruciatingly at the hands of brutal men?), I have to say it was just what I needed.

Fast forward to today. Notwithstanding an arm angry from a tetanus shot and pride wounded by fingers poking around my flabby midsection, I choose to hold my head high, realizing it's a head, however unworthy, that the Son of God died for.

Despite all the mental torture I put myself through about my situation being less deserving of treatment than that of the poor baby wailing down the hall from me, I have to say God came through. He gave me presence of mind to ask the right questions, seek clarification, and leave with the materials needed for a follow-up appointment next week.

He even saw to it that the hospital validated the parking.

Talk about being enough.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear 

but of power and love and self-control."

~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Growing Pains, AKA, the New Normal

In my last post, I discussed allowing myself to be thrown off kilter by a "Scrooge" after having an otherwise very balanced day. Subsequent to that post, "Scrooge" apologized for being grouchy, and I, likewise, took ownership of my grumpy reaction.

All was very copacetic with the person in question for awhile, but things took a turn for the worse again last night.

I wasn't expecting this, it being Christmas and all.

What happened to "Silent Night" with all being calm and bright?

My evening was more like "strident night, all is wild, all's a blight."

Ho, ho ho.

The thing is, I'm getting tired of the vicissitudes. The rolling back and forth with the waves of other people's dispositions and moods.

I crave equanimity in my own spirit.

And I claim it.

But how? 

After many years in a 12-step program, and even more years in God's boot camp, I'm coming to the realization that, if things are to going to change, the change must begin with me. 

If I'm to break the cycle of reacting and overreacting, grousing and apologizing, expecting and being disappointed - well, then, it's up to me to step off the hamster wheel. To "let the dervishes whirl," as it were. 

I guess I'm a slow learner.

There's a nice little reading in one of the Al-Anon pieces of literature that describes the process of letting go. Of allowing the other person in a relationship to choose his own attitudes and responses and decisions, and not holding him responsible for mine.

I'm thinking this makes a lot of sense.

Long before Al-Anon came along, a smart guy named James, inspired by the Holy Spirit, offered some similar advice:

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 

3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways...

19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 

20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God...

26 If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless...

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. 

~ excerpts from The Book of James, found in The Bible, 

which consistently tops bestseller lists, despite efforts to eradicate its impact

So, I guess I’ve got some work to do.

But at least I’m in excellent company.

Shadowing the Master

Yesterday was another fine day.

All but the ending, that is.

My priorities were solid. Spent time with the Lord and the body of Christ in prayer and worship. Did what needed to be done, but in the right order. Put Jesus and family first.

But I allowed a "Scrooge" to shake my serenity at the end of the day.

Why does there always have to be a Scrooge stomping around and making everybody miserable?

Maybe for the same reason Caesar and Herod threw their weight around during the first Christmas celebration.

The former did his best to keep Christ's homeland under oppression and taxation that could have ruined day to day life for His parents, had they allowed it. But instead they continued with their lives, preparing for the business of marriage and family building, with the understanding that a sovereign God was in control and in charge of their futures, present circumstances notwithstanding.

The latter took things a step further, using all the resources at his disposal in an effort to make sure the Savior never got a chance to do what He came to earth to do.

Both thugs used their respective power in such a way that kept Jesus's family on the go and even on the run.

Talk about "Bah, Humbug."

Think donkey travel (or foot travel, as some suggest would have been faster because of the ass's reputation for stubbornness) in the final months of pregnancy.

Yours truly spent a few hours on a train and a plane in my ninth month, which gave new meaning to the word "misery." I can only imagine the fun expectant Mary enjoyed on the back of a brute beast (or trekking on pregnancy-swollen feet) for days on end.

Think midnight flight to another country with a toddler, on pain of death.

True, He was the Son of God, but still.

The Bible says a servant is no greater than his master. So why should I expect my Christmas to be all glittery and magical when His was full of disadvantage and death threats?

Kind of puts things in a different perspective.

"Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him."  

-  John: 13:16

Wrapped Up in the Wrapping

Yesterday was a fine day.

I taught Bible study in the morning. While it wasn't my finest hour (I'm finding that sermons, no matter how inspiring when one is sitting in the pew, don't always translate well into group lessons), it did reflect my refusal to curtail the important in favor of the urgent.

Next, I did a few pressing chores (after all, Christmas is only a few days away), then went home and took a nap next to the Christmas tree. This seemingly dispensable activity comes under the category of what my brother-in-law once told my toddler nephew while filling his tiny mouth with a pacifier: "Here, Brian, don't forget your personality."

Never mind that unwrapped gifts are clogging every nook and cranny of my bedroom; this small concession to sanity is worth its weight in the gold those wise men brought to the Baby in Bethlehem (who, incidentally, also knew when to shake the world off His shoulders for a few hours).

Mental stability: one. Gift wrapping: zip.

A visit from my son, Aaron, his wife, Elise, and their newly-walking son, Luca (who just happens to be the only Christmas present I'll ever need), rounded out the day. Had I yielded to the urge to make stuffing and wrap gifts while they were here, I might have missed the opportunity to have an important talk with my kids, cook a meal with my daughter-in-law (whom I affectionately call my "labor-less" daughter, because she's just that wonderful), and witness my grandson climbing steps for the first time ever.

Family memories: one. Gift wrapping: still zip.

After they left, I puttered in the kitchen, trying to get a jump on the food I've promised for family gatherings over the next few days. I also checked in with a sick sister, as well as a dear friend who recently lost her mom.

Putting others at the top of the list: one. Gift wrapping: well, you know.

OK, true confessions time. I lost sight of the important while waiting for dishes to cool enough to stash in the fridge. Eschewing the leg and hip exercises which help my middle-aged body stay "oiled," for lack of a better word, I sat down with the TV remote and indulged in holiday nonsense till midnight. We're not talking classics like Scrooge and It's a Wonderful Life, either; this was modern drivel which I finally turned off after realizing I neither knew nor cared whether the star-crossed lovers would get back together for Christmas, yet I had allowed them to suck up precious time that my health and family deserved first crack at.

Holiday to do list: one. Gift wrapping, health and well-being: forget it.

I'm not beating myself up. A little down time is OK on vacation, and I give myself credit for ditching the show that was costing me sleep and serenity. But I do need to get back on track if I'm going to avoid feeling lousy in the new year because I prioritized poorly over Christmas.

In short, my goal over the next week is to bask in the glorious trimmings that accompany this magical time of year, while still making time for the day to day grunt work that enables me to enjoy it in the first place.

Bottom line: I hope to remain focused on the swaddle-wrapped Babe, as opposed to the wrappings the trash men will collect on December 26th.

For more like this, check out:

Thea, Thea 

Grinch Pinch

Jesus Christ, the Same Yesterday, Today, and December 26th

Low Branches

Unstoppable

Yesterday as I drove to work on my usual route, something unusual stopped me in my tracks.

Literally.

I pulled the car over to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.

Sure enough, it was one of those Christmas inflatables - the kind my sister can't stand and is always threatening to take out with a BB gun.

If you knew my sister, you'd know she'd never take out a squirrel, let alone a harmless Christmas decoration. She just likes pretending to be tough.

But someone or something did destroy this humble lawn ornament, which lay crumpled in someone's trash.

Now, this wasn't just any inflatable. I had never seen one like it, and it held particular meaning for me each morning as I passed by because it stood out in the sea of commercialism and secularism that has overtaken the greatest miracle ever known to man - divinity stooping down to earth to save humanity from itself.

I speak, of course, of the birth of Christ. The inflatable that made me catch my breath each morning, reminding me of the true meaning of Christmas, depicted the Nativity scene.

It was pretty simple - just parents and Baby in their humble surroundings - but Amazon prices it at over $100.

As if one could put a price on the Incarnation.

Now, it's entirely likely that the thing was old and weather-beaten and couldn't withstand another Christmas out in the cold. It's also possible, in our increasingly hostile world which is increasingly hostile to all things sacred, that some piteous person took out his or her aggression on this symbol of redemption.

Either way, as the Grinch found out, it won't keep Christmas from coming.

Puncturing plastic won't halt the impact of what happened 2,000 years ago any more than the removal of tinsel and trees and toys could thwart what the Who's down in Whoville were singing about in Dr. Seuss's classic tale.

Christ came. He lives even after unenlightened hearts tried to stop His unstoppable one. He reigns, despite much evidence to the contrary, even as our fallen world slips ever further into madness and mayhem.

He asks only that we do our part to remind others of these facts, and that we remain faithful to His call on our lives.

After many months of allowing my pen to sit idle, herein lies my attempt to do just that.

Works Consulted for Belabored

Sorry, readers. This document isn't going to win any beauty contests. It didn't transfer very well from my Word document. Still, I wanted you to have it as a resource, and to know that I thoroughly researched the information presented in Belabored. I hope you find it useful.

"Abortion, Partial Birth." McGraw-Hill Concise Dictionary of Modern Medicine. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002. The Free Dictionary. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/partial+birth+abortion>. Definition, purpose, legal controversies, precautions, prep, aftercare, results of partial birth abortion, AKA "IDX".

“Abortion Statistics: United States Data and Trends.” National Right to Life, NRLC Educational Foundation, nrlc.org/uploads/factsheets/FS01AbortionintheUS.pdf . 8 Aug. 2018. Abortion death statistics in United States since 1973. Referenced by Bonny in chapter 50.

"Adoption." Child Welfare Information Gateway. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 2014. Web. 7 Mar. 2015. <https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/>. Fact sheets on various types of adoption. International adoption typically costs $15,000 - $45,000.

"Adoption in Pennsylvania." PA Department of Human Services. PA Department of Human Services, 19 Nov. 2014. Web. 7 Mar. 2015. <http://www.dhs.state.pa.us/forchildren/childwelfareservices/adoptioninpennsylvania/S_000330>. Resources for PA adoption. Link to Spaulding for Children http://spaulding.org/cfs/adoption/ which charges nothing to adopt special needs children.

"Adverse Psychological Reactions: A Fact Sheet." Hope After Abortion, Project 

              Rachel Ministry, 2011, hopeafterabortion.com/?page_id=213. Accessed 29 Aug. 

   2016.

  From the webpage: "... the largest and most definitive analysis of the mental 

               health risks associated with abortion was published September 1, 2011 in 

               the prestigious British Journal of Psychiatry (Coleman, PK, “Abortion 

               and Mental Health: Quantitative Synthesis and Analysis of Research 

               Published 1995-2009,” BJP 2011; 199:180-186). The meta-analysis conducted 

               by Professor Priscilla Coleman, PhD of Bowling Green State University, 

             examines twenty-two major studies published between 1995 and 2009 involving 

             a total of 877,181 women, of whom 163,831 had abortions. Taking into 

             account all the mental health problems studied—anxiety, depression, alcohol 

              use/misuse, marijuana use and all suicidal behaviors—here is what this 

             rigorous analysis found: Women who have had an abortion have an 81% 

            higher risk of subsequent mental health problems compared to women who have 

             not had an abortion.Women who aborted have a 138% higher risk of mental 

             health problems compared to women who have given birth.Women who 

            aborted have a 55% higher risk of mental health problems compared to women 

             with an “unplanned” pregnancy who gave birth.Women with a history 

            of abortion have higher rates of anxiety (34% higher), depression (37%), 

            alcohol use/misuse (110%), marijuana use (230%), and suicidal behavior 

              (155%), compared to those who have not had an abortion."

Quoting a footnote: "Women with a history of sexual assault tend to have greater

distress before, during and after their abortions due to association between the abortion and the sexual assault." Zakus, “Adolescent Abortion Option,” Social Work in  Health Care, 1987;12(4): 87; Makhorn, “Sexual Assault and  Pregnancy,” in New Perspectives in Human Abortion, eds. Mall and Watts, University Publications of America: Washington, DC: 1981. 

Affordable Fertility Treatments. Center for Human Reproduction. Center for Human Reproduction, 1 Jan. 2014. Web. 28 Oct. 2014. <https://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/pdf/chr_ivf_uninsured_to_50k_us_2014.pdf>. Procedures and costs of assisted reproduction, e.g., IVF.

"The Am I Pregnant TEST." How to Know if You are Pregnant. wikiHow, n.d. Web. 15 Nov. 2014. <http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-You-are-Pregnant>. Online 3-minute questionnaire of pregnancy symptoms.

Andrews, Evan. "8 Reasons It Wasn’t Easy Being Spartan." History Lists. A & E Television Networks, LLC, 5 Mar. 2013. Web. 15 Feb. 2015. <http://www.history.com/>. Treatment of babies in ancient Sparta.

"Annual Report 2013-2014." Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood Federation of America, 16 Dec. 2014. Web. 6 June 2015. <http://issuu.com/actionfund/docs/annual_report_final_proof_12.16.14_/0>. Page 18 of this online annual report, published by digital publishing platform Issuu, lists the number of abortions provide by Planned Parenthood in fiscal year ending June 30, 2014 as 327,653.

Arons, Jessica. "The Adoption Option: Adoption Won’t Reduce Abortion but It Will Expand Women’s Choices." Center for American Progress: Progressive Ideas for a Strong, Just, and Free America. Center for American Progress, 18 Oct. 2010. Web. 19 Aug. 2015. <https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/women/report/2010/10/18/8460/the-adoption-option/>. Article examining open and closed adoption, with preference shown toward birth mothers over adoptive parents. Also discusses surrogate parenting: "The advent of assisted reproductive technologies is allowing people to create children and families in ways never imagined in earlier times" (17). Disparages crisis pregnancy centers, labeling them "coercive" and "unethical," but fails to cite research to support that description (14-15).

Blackwell, Tom. "When is Twins Too Many?" National Post. National Post, 11 Jan. 2011. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.nationalpost.com/news/When+twins+many/3960709/story.html>. Fetal reduction's effect on marriages.

Brei, Tim, M.D., Colleen Payne, and Gordon Worley, M.D., eds. "An Expectant Parents Guide to Spina Bifida." Spina Bifida Association. Spina Bifida Association of America, 2014. Web. 29 May 2015. <http://www.spinabifidaassociation.org/site/c.evKRI7OXIoJ8H/b.8340123/k.1937/An_Expectant_Parents_Guide_to_Spina_Bifida.htm>. Description, pre-natal diagnosis, post-natal care, and medical conditions associated with spina bifida. 

Brocklesby, Gina. E-mail interview. 15 Sept. 2014. Questions about adoption costs and procedures.

Brown, Lauretta. "Adults Raised by Gay Couples Speak Out Against Gay 

     ‘Marriage’ in Federal Court." CNSNews.com. Media Research Center, 23 

     Jan. 2015. Web. 8 July 2016. <http://cnsnews.com/news/article/ 

     lauretta-brown/ 

     adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court>. 

     Four adult children raised by gay parents testify in 5th Circuit Court of 

     Appeals (New Orleans) against legalizing gay marriage.  

Butts, Dianne E., comp. Deliver Me: Hope, Help, and Healing through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy. Pueblo: Connections Press, 2011. Print. Stories of unplanned pregnancies, abortion, adoption, and pregnancy center work.

Caifa, Karin. New Crib Safety Standards in Effect. cnn.com. CNN, 28 June 2011. Web. 23 Jan. 2015. <http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/28/dangerous-drop-side-cribs-no-longer-for-sale/>. Drop side cribs ousted in favor of adjustable mattress cribs.

Caldwell, Simon. "Blind Tenor Andrea Bocelli Praises Mother for Rejecting Doctor's Advice to Have Abortion Because He Might be Disabled." Mail Online 8 June 2010: n. pag. Print. Bocelli's praise of his mother's decision not to abort him, despite warnings that he would be disabled.

Campellone, Joseph V., M.D. "Ventriculoperitoneal Shunting." Medline Plus. National Institutes of Health, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 29 Oct. 2013. Web. 29 Mar. 2015. <http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003019.htm>. Explanation of VP shunting for hydrocephalus; procedure and recovery.

- - -. "Ventriculoperitoneal Shunting." MedLine Plus. Bethesda: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2015. N. pag. MedlinePlus. Web. 29 Mar. 2015. <http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003019.htm>. Explanation of VP shunting procedure and recovery.

Card, Michael and Betsy Hernandez. Sleep Sound in Jesus: Gentle Lullabies for Baby. Chatsworth, CA: Sparrow, 1989. Sound recording.

"CDC Growth Charts." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/cdc_charts.htm>. CDC growth charts for weight, stature, head circumference.

"Center for Fetal Diagnosis and Treatment." The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, 2015. Web. 22 Mar. 2015. <http://www.chop.edu/conditions-diseases/hydrocephalus#.VQ9Nf_nF-So>. Prenatal surgery for hydrocephalus, spina bifida, and other conditions.

"Cesarean Section." Childbirth Connection. National Partnership for Women and Families, 11 Dec. 2012. Web. 13 Apr. 2016. <http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10167>. What women can expect during and after a C-section. IV pain meds followed up by oral after IV is removed; clear liquids at first; regular postpartum room.

Chen, Stephanie. "Boy, 12, Faces Grown Up Murder Charges." CNN. CNN, 15 Mar. 2010. Web. 28 Mar. 2015. <http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/02/10/pennsylvania.young.murder.defendant/>. Story of 12-year-old who shot and killed his father's pregnant fiance`. Facing two counts of murder (mother and baby). Name and photo divulged. 

"Chiari Malformation Fact Sheet." National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, June 2013. Web. 6 June 2015. <http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/detail_chiari.htm>. Description of Chiari malformation, as well as causes and treatment.

"Child Adoption Laws Pennsylvania." Child Adoption Laws.com. AdoptionServices.org, 17 Oct. 2013. Web. 7 Mar. 2015. <http://www.childadoptionlaws.com/child_adoption_laws/adoption_laws_pennsylvania.htm>. PA adoption laws. States that consent forms can be revoked up to 30 days after signing, after which adoption proceedings may begin. Quotes extensively from: Pennsylvania Adoption Statute and Law Title 23: Domestic Relations  Part III. Adoption

Chapters 21,23,25,27,29. 

"Child Maltreatment 2012." U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Children’s Bureau (Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Administration for Children and Families) of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 17 Dec. 2013. Web. 8 Nov. 2014. <http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm2012.pdf>. Statistics on child abuse in 2012. Table 5-5 on page 71.

Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2017). Infant safe haven laws. Washington, DC: U.S.

Department of Health and Human Services, Children's Bureau.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-policies/statutes/safehaven/.

“Many State legislatures have enacted legislation to address infant abandonment and

endangerment in response to a reported increase in the abandonment of infants in unsafe

locations, such as public restrooms or trash receptacles. Beginning in Texas in 1999,

‘Baby Moses laws’ or infant safe haven laws have been enacted as an incentive for

mothers in crisis to safely relinquish their babies to designated locations where the babies

are protected and provided with medical care until a permanent home is found. Safe

haven laws generally allow the parent, or an agent of the parent, to remain anonymous

 and to be shielded from criminal liability and prosecution for child endangerment,

abandonment, or neglect in exchange for surrendering the baby to a safe haven.”

 CNN Library. "Scott Peterson Trial Fast Facts." CNN U.S. Cable News Network Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., 22 Apr. 2014. Web. 26 Oct. 2014. <http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/15/us/scott-peterson-trial-fast-facts/index.html>. Timeline of Scott Peterson murder case.

Collins, Suzanne. The Hunger Games. New York: Scholastic, 2008. Print. Futuristic novel referenced in chapter 22 of Belabored.

"Consent to Adoption." Child Welfare Information Gateway. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau, Apr. 2013. Web. 7 Apr. 2015. <https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/consent.pdf#page=2&view=Who Must Consent>. Legalities of voluntary termination of parental rights.

Craparo, Jocelyn L., MD. E-mail interview. 13 Mar. 2015. Questions about pregnancy and abortion. Dr. is an OB/GYN.

“Documenting Numbers of Victims of the Holocaust and Nazi Persecution.” United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10008193. 8 Aug. 2018. Statistics of number of people killed by Nazis in World War II. Referenced by Bonny in chapter 50.

"Fact Sheet: Gestational Carrier (Surrogate)." American Society for Reproductive Medicine. American Society for Reproductive Medicine, 2014. Web. 3 Nov. 2014. <http://www.reproductivefacts.org/Templates/SearchResults.aspx?q=surrogate>. Gestational carrier vs. surrogate.

"Fact Sheet: Induced Abortion in the United States." Guttmacher Institute. Guttmacher Institute, July 2014. Web. 6 June 2015. <http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html#1>. Abortion stats: "In 2011, 1.06 million abortions were performed, down 13% from 1.21 million in 2008. From 1973 through 2011, nearly 53 million legal abortions occurred." Source: Jones RK and Jerman J, Abortion incidence and service availability in the United States, 2011,Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 2014, 46(1):3-14

Ferris, Sarah, and Cristina Marcos. "House Approves 20-week Abortion Ban." MSN News. MSN, 13 May 2015. Web. 25 May 2015. <http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/house-approves-20-week-abortion-ban/ar-BBjKum5?srcref=rss>. Facts on Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, which passed House in May 2015.

"Fetal Development: Stages of Growth." Cleveland Clinic. Cleveland Clinic, 30 July 2010. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://my.clevelandclinic.org/healthy_living/pregnancy/hic-fetal-development-stages-of-growth.aspx>. Fetal development from conception through ninth month.

Franklin, TaSha. "The Best Car Seat: From Infant Car Seats to Booster Seats." The Best Car Seats Reviews. TaSha Franklin, 16 Dec. 2011. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://thebestcarseatsreviews.com/about/>. Reviews & descriptions of infant, convertible & booster car seats.

FULL FOOTAGE: Second Planned Parenthood Senior Executive Haggles Over Baby Parts Prices. Prod. Centerformedicalprogress.org. You Tube. You Tube, 21 July 2015. Web. 25 July 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwAGsjoorvk>. Dr. Mary Gatter of Planned Parenthood discusses compensation and logistics of fetal tissue transfer.

"Gain Weight Safely During Your Pregnancy." WebMD. Ed. Kecia Gaither, MD, MPH. N.p.: n.p., 2014. 1-2. WebMD. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/healthy-weight-gain>. Guidelines for pregnancy weight gain.

Gillespie, Natalie Nichols. Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006. Print. Resource for families considering domestic or international adoption.

Gleicher, Norbert, MD, et al. "Fertility Treatments and Multiple Births in the United States." New England Journal of Medicine 370 (2014): 1069-71. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMc1400242>. Rates of multiple pregnancy occurence after IVF and other fertility treatments. Complications in multiple births.

Harms, Roger W., M.D. "Could an Abortion Increase the Risk of Problems in a Subsequent Pregnancy?" Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 5 Aug. 2014. Web. 15 July 2015. <http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/expert-answers/abortion/faq-20058551>. "Some research suggests a possible link between abortion and an increased risk of: vaginal bleeding during early pregnancy; preterm birth; low birth weight; placenta problems, such as retained placenta... Rarely, a surgical abortion can damage the cervix or uterus. In such cases, surgery might be needed to correct the damage before a woman can conceive again. Also, rarely the cervix can be weakened, leading to the potential for the cervix to open prematurely (incompetent cervix) in a subsequent pregnancy. This is more likely to affect women who have had multiple surgical abortions."

Hatfield, Heather. "The Truth About C-Sections: Pregnant and Thinking about Having a C-section? Learn about the Risks, Benefits, and Recovery." WebMD. WebMD, LLC, 2 Feb. 2010. Web. 13 Apr. 2016. <http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/the-truth-about-c-sections>. What to expect after a C-section: catheter, 4-day hospital stay, numbness below waist till catheter removed, on narcotics, pain on movement (have to move to avoid blood clots), lift nothing heavier than baby for 2 weeks, no driving for 2 weeks, no exercise for 4-6 weeks, no sex for 6 weeks. May take up to 3 months to feel normal again.

"Helen Keller Biography." American Foundation for the Blind. American Foundation for the Blind, 2016. Web. 1 May 2016. <http://www.afb.org/info/about-us/helen-keller/biography-and-chronology/biography/1235>. Helen Keller's biography.

Hemminki, Elina, et al. "Induced Abortions Previous to IVF: An Epidemiologic Register-based Study from Finland." Human Reproduction 23.6 (2008): 1320-23. PubMed.gov. Web. 15 July 2015. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18372256>. Study suggesting link between induced abortion and subsequent infertility.

Hess, Karen. Personal interview. 11 Nov. 2015. Tour of Alpha Pregnancy Center in Philadelphia. Recorded interview with Karen Hess, Executive Director, and obtained print materials.

"H.R.36 - Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act." Congressional Record. Washington, D.C.: Library of Congress, 2015. Congress.gov. Web. 25 May 2015. <https://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-congress/house-bill/36>. Facts on H.R. 36, Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act.

"Hydrocephalus." The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, June 2011. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.chop.edu/service/fetal-diagnosis-and-treatment/fetal-diagnoses/hydrocephalus.html>. Overview, evaluation and treatment options for hydrocephalus.

"Hydrocephalus Fact Sheet." National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. Bethesda: National Institutes of Health, 2014. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/hydrocephalus/detail_hydrocephalus.htm>. Hydrocephalus: definition, types, symptoms, diagnosis, treatments, shunts, prognosis, research.

"Hydrocephalus Stories." Prenatal Partners for Life. Prenatal Partners for Life, 2014. Web. 28 Feb. 2015. Testimonies of parents of children with special needs, including hydrocephalus & spina bifida, who ignored doctors' advice to terminate pregnancy. 

"Infant Safe Haven Laws." State Statutes. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children's Bureau, 2013. 54-55. Child Welfare Information Gateway. Web. 29 Mar. 2015. <https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/safehaven.pdf#page=7&view=Summaries of State Laws>. PDF file on state "Moses laws" whereby parents can place infants into the custody of health care provider or other agent instead of abandoning unwanted children. Receiving party is granted immunity against liability. Child becomes ward of the state and is often placed for adoption.

Jerman, Jenna, et al. “Characteristics of U.S. Abortion Patients in 2014 and Changes Since 2008.” Guttmacher Institute, Guttmacher Institute, May 2016, www.guttmacher.org/sites/default/files/report_pdf/characteristics-us-abortion-patients-2014.pdf. 13 Aug. 2018. PDF presenting statistics that over 50% of women having a religious affiliation have had abortions.

Johnson, Abby. Amnion Crisis Pregnancy Center's 31st Annual Fundraising Banquet. Paxon Hollow Country Club, Media, PA. 7 Nov. 2014. Speech. From the invitation: "The Board of Directors of Amnion Crisis Pregnancy Center invites you to attend Amnion's 31st Annual Fundraising Banquet. Our guest speaker is Abby Johnson. Abby, a former Planned Parenthood leader and author of "Unplanned" will walk you through her heart-changing journey to becoming a powerful advocate for life. Attendees will also hear an Amnion client testimony and will receive an update on Amnion's services and vision for the future."

Johnson, Abby, and Cindy Lambert. Unplanned: The Dramatic True Story of a Former Planned Parenthood Leader's Eye-Opening Journey Across the Life Line. Carol Stream: Tyndale House, 2010. Print. Story of Abby Johnson's rise to become director of a Planned Parenthood clinic, followed by her change of heart to become a pro-life champion.

"Joni and Friends International Disability Center." Joni and Friends International Disability Center. Joni and Friends, 2016. Web. 1 May 2016. <http://www.joniandfriends.org/>. Joni Eareckson Tada's biography and mission to minister to people with disabilities and their families/friends.

Kellett, Mary. E-mail interview. 8 Feb. 2016. Mary responded to my call to Prenatal Partners for Life, an organization which assists parents who receive adverse prenatal diagnoses. Mary describes her own experience with giving birth to a special needs child who lived 6 1/2 years in http://www.prenatalpartnersforlife.org/TouchingOurHearts/PeterKellett.pdf.

Lack, Evonne. "Water Breaking: What it Feels Like." BabyCenter. BabyCenter, LLC, 2015. Web. 21 Feb. 2015. <http://www.babycenter.com/0_water-breaking-what-it-feels-like_10339934.bc>. Description of water breaking during delivery.

Lowry, Lois. The Giver. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1993. Print. Dystopian novel referenced by several main characters in Belabored.

Main, Douglas. "450 Dead Babies Found in Athenian Well Shed Light on Ancient Greeks." Newsweek 10 Jan. 2015: n. pag. Newsweek. Web. 17 Apr. 2016. <http://www.newsweek.com/2015/06/19/discovery-dead-infants-athenian-well-sheds-light-ancient-greek-society-341681.html>. "This latest work adds to those disturbing discoveries, building a case that, at the time, if a baby died, its body was discarded, not properly interred. This is because Greek babies, like those in Rome, weren’t considered full individuals until a special ceremony about a week to 10 days after birth, Rotroff explains. During this event, at which time the child was given his or her name, the head of the household (almost always the father) decided whether or not to rear the child. He could determine to not raise the baby for several reasons—for example, in the case of some type of deformity, or if the family was too big, or if the mother was unmarried. Sometimes, an unwanted baby would be left out in a public place in the hopes that it would be adopted. It wasn’t unusual for such children to be raised as slaves."

Mayo Clinic Staff. "Diseases and Conditions: Premature Birth Complications." Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic, 27 Nov. 2014. Web. 9 Feb. 2015. <http://www.mayoclinic.org/>. Results of premature birth, including cerebral palsy.

McElhinney, Ann and Phelim McAleer. Gosnell: The Untold Story of America’s Most Prolific Serial Killer. Washington: Regnery, 2017. Print. Two investigative journalists tell the story of the unsanitary conditions and illegal activities in Dr. Kermit Gosnell’s Philadelphia abortion clinic.

Merrell, Richard. "Womb or Tomb?" 2012. PoemHunter.com. N.p.: n.p., 2012. N. pag. PoemHunter.com. Web. 6 June 2015. <http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/womb-or-tomb-2/>. Merrell's poem, which inspired the dialogue in chapter 17 of Belabored:

"God's purpose for the womb

Is to produce a new life

That man and woman might multiply

The husband and his wife.

But in man's own wickedness

A new use for the womb; 

Evil supporters of abortion cry

'At last a tomb! '"

Metzgar, Jayme. "Abortion Is The New Slavery." The Federalist 13 Aug. 2015: n. pag. Print. Three point analysis of similarities between justification and repercussions of slavery and abortion:

"Problem 1: It Deepens Our Hypocrisy about the Humanity of the Unborn; Problem 2: It Reveals the Inherent Violence and Cruelty of Abortion; Problem 3: It Ingrains a Need for Abortion in Our Way of Life."

Mundy, Liza. "Too Much to Carry?" Washington Post [Washington] 20 May 2007: n. pag. Print. Excerpted from Mundy's book, Everything Conceivable: How Assisted Reproduction Is Changing Men, Women, and the World, published by Alfred A. Knopf. Exposé on fetal reduction in higher order pregnancies.

My Story of Planned Parenthood, Pain, and Redemption. By Dena Berry. YouTube. YouTube, 8 Aug. 2015. Web. 14 Aug. 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyPaiGRd4Z8&feature=youtu.be>. One woman's post-abortion experience.

Padawer, Ruth. "The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy." New York Times [New York] 10 Aug. 2011, Magazine: 1-7. The New York Times. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html>. Ethical dilemma of reducing a twin pregnancy to a singleton. Examines the artificiality of fertility treatment, thus rendering reduction "just another choice".

"Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act." National Committee for a Human Life Amendment. National Committee for a Human Life Amendment, 2007. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.nchla.org/datasource/idocuments/5PBABriefPg11c.07.pdf>. Description of PB abortion: I. Background II. Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003III. Executive Action IV. Court Challenges

Piper, John. “‘I Had an Abortion.’” Desiring God, Desiring God, 14 July 2017, www.desiringgod.org/interviews/i-had-an-abortion. Pastor John Piper offers comfort and counsel to post-abortive women who feel they have lost God's grace and the right to worship in church. 13 Aug. 2018.

Planned Parenthood EXPOSED! Caught On Hidden Camera Selling Body Parts Of Aborted Babies. Prod. Centerformedicalprogress.org. You Tube. You Tube, 15 July 2015. Web. 25 July 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyhz8Zjm1i0>. Footage of Dr. Deborah Nucatola, Senior Director of Medical Services, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, discussing sale of fetal body parts.

"Pregnancy Ultrasound." Medline Plus. Bethesda: U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, 2014. Medline Plus. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003778.htm>. How preg U/S is done; prep; results; how & why; risks.

"Pregnancy: Your Baby's First Hours of Life." Womenshealth.gov. Office of Women's Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 27 Sept. 2010. Web. 21 Feb. 2015. <http://www.womenshealth.gov/pregnancy/childbirth-beyond/baby-first-hours.html>. Description of events immediately following delivery.

"Prenatal Form and Function – The Making of an Earth Suit." The Endowment for Human Development. The Endowment for Human Development, Inc., n.d. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.ehd.org/dev_article_unit4.php>. "Only 3 weeks and 1 day after fertilization - the heart begins to beat. By 4 weeks, the heart typically beats between 105 and 121 times per minute."

Prenatal Hydrocephalus. San Francisco: Hydrocephalus Association, 2002. Print. 14-page online booklet re: in utero hydrocephalus.

Reardon, David C., PhD. "Rape, Incest, and Abortion: Searching Beyond the Myths." 

The Post-Abortion Review 2.Winter (1994): n. pag. Web. 4 Aug. 2016. <http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/ rape-incest-and-abortion-searching-beyond-the-myths>.

"...many women report that their abortions felt like a degrading and brutal form of medical rape.[2] This association between abortion and rape is not 

hard to understand. Abortion involves a painful examination of a woman's sexual organs by a masked stranger who is invading her body. Once she is on the operating table, she loses control over her body. If she protests and asks for the abortionist to stop, she will likely be ignored or told: "It's too late to change your mind. This is what you wanted. We have to finish now." And while she lies there tense and helpless, the life hidden within her is literally sucked out of her womb. The difference? In a sexual rape, a woman is robbed of her purity; in this medical rape she is robbed of her maternity... Second, research shows that after any abortion, it is common for women to experience guilt, depression, feelings of being "dirty," resentment of men, and lowered self-esteem. What is most significant is that these feelings are identical to what women typically 

feel after rape. Abortion, then, only adds to and accentuates the traumatic feelings associated with sexual assault. Rather than easing the psychological burdens of the sexual assault victim, abortion adds to them... The case against abortion of incest pregnancies is even 

stronger. Studies show that incest victims rarely ever voluntarily agree to an abortion.[4] Instead of viewing the pregnancy as unwanted, the incest victim is more likely to see the pregnancy as a way out of the incestuous relationship because the birth of her child will expose the 

sexual activity. She is also likely to see in her pregnancy the hope of bearing a child with whom she can establish a true loving relationship, one far different than the exploitive relationship in which she has been trapped. But while the incest victim may treasure her pregnancy because 

 it offers her hope of release, and the hope of finding a nurturing love, her pregnancy is a threat to the exploiter. It is also a threat to the pathological secrecy which may envelop other members of the family who are afraid to acknowledge that the abuse is occurring. Because of this dual 

 threat, the victim may be coerced into an unwanted abortion by both the abuser and other family members." 

 "Restoring Hope for a Child with Hydrocephalus." World Pediatric Project. World Pediatric Project, 2014. Web. 28 Feb. 2015. <http://www.worldpediatricproject.org/hydrocephalus>. Prognosis and secondary conditions associated with hydrocephalus.

Robock, Karen. "Waterworks: What to Expect When Your Water Breaks." Today's Parent Dec. 2013: 79. Today's Parent. Web. 22 Mar. 2015. <http://www.todaysparent.com/tag/december-2013/>. Description of water breaking during delivery.

Rodrigues de Oliveira, Armando Tadeu. Celine Dion & Andrea Bocelli - The Prayer (O Orador) Ano da Música-1999 - LEGENDADO. YouTube. YouTube, 7 Oct. 2012. Web. 9 July 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dcbSQOaNH0>. The Prayer (Live At Central Park, New York/2011).

Rovner, Julie. "'Partial-Birth Abortion:' Separating Fact from Spin." npr. NPR, 21 Feb. 2006. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.npr.org/2006/02/21/5168163/partial-birth-abortion-separating-fact-from-spin>. History of and justification for partial birth abortions, AKA, D&X abortions. Frequency numbers from Guttmacher Institute. Contrast w/more common D&E abortions (typical?).

"Safe Haven." Safe Haven. PA Department of Human Services, n.d. Web. 15 Feb. 2015. <http://www.secretsafe.org/>. Info on no questions asked drop off of babies less than 28 days old to hospitals or police stations.

Saletan, William. "After-Birth Abortion: The Pro-choice Case for Infanticide." Slate 12 Mar. 2012: n. pag. Slate. Web. 28 Mar. 2015. <http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_nature/2012/03/after_birth_abortion_the_pro_choice_case_for_infanticide_.html>. Analysis of Journal of Medical Ethics article by Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva in which they propose the concept of post-birth abortion.

Schaeffer, Francis A. A Christian Manifesto. Hovel Audio ed. Wheaton: Crossway Books, 2006. Print. Exploration of Judeo-Christian world view vs. secular humanism. Roots of secular humanism and how its growth has impacted modern sociological and legal thinking and decisions.

Schorr, Andrew. "Interview with Dr. Sonia Bonifacio: Preventing Brain Damage in Newborns." USCF Benioff Children's Hospital San Francisco. University of California San Francisco, Jan. 2012. Web. 28 Mar. 2015. <http://www.ucsfbenioffchildrens.org/education/interview_bonifacio_preventing_brain_damage_in_newborns/index.html>. "Hear a Patient Power interview with Dr. Sonia Bonifacio, a neonatologist who specializes in the treatment of critically ill and premature newborns, and Kelsey Dimitropoulos, whose son Luke was born without a heartbeat. Luke was revived and transferred to UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital where he received hypothermia treatment, using a cooling blanket, to bring down his core temperature and prevent brain damage" (synopsis quoted from website).

Seligson, Hannah. "Data Murky on Fertility Rates." New York Times [New York] 28 Apr. 2014: n. pag. NYTimes.com. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/04/28/data-murky-on-fertility-rates/>. CDC and Society for Assisted Reproductive Technologies live birth records; compares IVF cycles to actual births; cost of IVF and age of women undergoing fertility treatment; contrasts pregnancies vs. live births; cottage industry that allows couples to shop for fertility clinics for a small fee. Fertility is BIG BUSINESS!

The Silent Scream Complete Version. Narr. Bernard N. Nathanson, M.D. American Portrait Films, 1984. Film. Former abortionist and founding member of NARAL, Bernard N. Nathanson, M.D., narrates ultrasound abortion procedure. Describes his role in abortion industry and how he came to believe abortion is murder.

Singer, Peter. “FAQ.” Peter Singer, Peter Singer, www.petersinger.info/faq/. 10 Aug. 2018.

Information quoted from Singer’s website; referenced by Tanya in her statement to the District Attorney in chapter 57: “I use the term "person" to refer to a being who is capable of anticipating the future, of having wants and desires for the future… Newborn human babies have no sense of their own existence over time. Bentham pointed out that infanticide does not make anyone fearful that they will be killed, because by the time one learns of it, one is no longer an infant. So killing a newborn baby is never equivalent to killing a person.  That doesn’t mean that it is not almost always a terrible thing to do.  It is, but that is because most infants are loved and cherished by their parents, and to kill an infant is usually to do a great wrong to its parents.

“Sometimes, perhaps because the baby has a serious disability, parents think it better that their newborn infant should die. Many doctors will accept their wishes, to the extent of not giving the baby life-supporting medical treatment.  That will often ensure that the baby dies.  My view is different from this, only to the extent that if a decision is taken, by the parents and doctors, that it is better that a baby should die, I believe it should be possible to carry out that decision, not only by withholding or withdrawing life-support – which can lead to the baby dying slowly from dehydration or from an infection - but also by taking active steps to end the baby’s life swiftly and humanely.”

 "Spartan Weapons." Ancient Military.com. AncientMilitary.com, 2011. Web. 18 Feb. 2015. <http://www.ancientmilitary.com/>. Description and drawings of Spartan soldiers and weapons.

Speltz, Cynthia. Interview. 14 Aug. 2016. Phone interview with Cindy Speltz, 

          who, along with her daughter, Jennifer Maas, have shared their story on 

         EWTN. Cindy was sexually assaulted in 1974, became pregnant with Jenni, but 

         chose to continue her pregnancy and raise her daughter. Both are strong 

         advocates for choosing life, regardless of how life was conceived.  

"Spina Bifida Fact Sheet." National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. Bethesda: National Institutes of Health, 2013. N. pag. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.noodletools.com/noodlebib/cite.php?ADD=Reference%20Source>. Spina Bifida: types, causes, signs and symptoms, complications, diagnosis, treatment, prevention, prognosis, research.

Sprigg, Peter. "New Study On Homosexual Parents Tops All Previous Research." 

           Family Research Council. Family Research Council, n.d. Web. 8 July 2016. 

          <http://www.frc.org/issuebrief/ 

          new-study-on-homosexual-parents-tops-all-previous-research>. Peter 

          Sprigg, Senior Fellow for Policy Studies at FRC, analyzes study 

          released by Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas in 2012. 

         Sprigg summarizes:"In a historic study of children raised by homosexual 

         parents, sociologist Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas at Austin has 

         overturned the conventional academic wisdom that such children suffer no 

        disadvantages when compared to children raised by their married mother and 

       father. Just published in the journal Social Science Research,[1] 

       the most careful, rigorous, and methodologically sound study ever conducted 

      on this issue found numerous and significant differences between these 

      groups--with the outcomes for children of homosexuals rated "suboptimal" 

      (Regnerus' word) in almost every category."   

Storck, Susan, MD, FACOG, David Zieve, MD, MHA, and Bethanne Black. "Amniocentesis." Medline Plus. Bethesda: U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2014. Medline Plus. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003921.htm>. Amniocentesis: how and why; prep for; results; risks.

Tate, Tammy, RN, LCPC. Gift of a Lifetime. Colorado Springs: Tammy Tate, RN, LCPC, 2010.

            Brochure. Print. When parents receive a fatal pre-birth diagnosis, perinatal hospice

 program can prepare the family to grieve and assist with funeral.

Transvaginal Fetal Reduction in a Quadruplet Pregnancy with 1 Sac Containing a Monochorionic Diamniotic Twin. By Sevellaraja Supermaniam. YouTube. N.p., 13 June 2010. Web. 11 June 2014. Ultrasound with narration and music of a fetal reduction.

Twice Born: Stories from the Special Delivery Unit. PBS, 2015. Film. Interviews with fetal surgeons at CHOP, and live footage of surgical interventions to correct birth defects antenatally.

"UNC Fetal Care: Spina Bifida." UNC School of Medicine. University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine, 2015. Web. 17 June 2015. <http://www.med.unc.edu/fetalcare/conditions-we-care-for/spina-bifida>. Diagnosis, delivery and postpartum care of spina bifida infants.

V., Jeanine. "AAP Car Seat Safety Guidelines for 2014." thelittledabbler. Jeanine V., 18 Apr. 2013. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://thelittledabbler.com/2013/04/18/aap-car-seat-safety-guidelines-for-2013/>. AAP Car Seat Safety Guidelines for 2014

"Ventriculomegaly and Hydrocephaly." Texas Fetal Center. Children's Memorial Hermann Hospital, 2014. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://childrens.memorialhermann.org/conditions/ventriculomegaly-and-hydrocephaly/>. Enlargement of brain ventricles due to hydrocephalus. Delivery, birth and outcomes.

Wetzstein, Cheryl. "Gay Couples’ Children Oppose Same-sex Marriage, Tell of 

     Unpleasant Upbringings." http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jan/8/ 

     gay-couples-children-oppose-same-sex-marriage-tell/. Washington Times, 

     8 Jan. 2015. Web. 8 July 2016. <http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/ 

     jan/8/gay-couples-children-oppose-same-sex-marriage-tell/>. Pros and 

     cons of gay marriage debate. Adult children of gay parents weigh in on both 

     sides of the debate. 

Whitehead, Mary Beth. "A Surrogate Mother Describes Her Change of Heart—and Her Fight to Keep the Baby Two Families Love." People 20 Oct. 1986: n. pag. Print. MB Whitehead's account of carrying and refusing to give up "Baby M".

Wilkinson, Cheryl, and Paul Wilkinson. E-mail interview. 28 May 2015. Husband and wife's experiences with several open domestic adoptions.

Willis, Pastor Dave. “7 things to do when your kids disappoint you.” Patheos, Dave Willis,

26 May 2015. Web. 20 July 20, 2018.

< http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/7-things-to-do-when-your-kids-disappoint-you/>.

Blog article containing the quote introducing chapter 47 of Belabored.

 XxxAlmixxx. Unassisted Freebirth of Maribel Lee. YouTube. YouTube, 9 June 2012. Web. 7 Mar. 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RwXud1hfI4>. Actual birth on toilet. Inappropriate for youngsters.

"Your Growing Belly and Baby: A Timeline Through Pregnancy." WebMD. Ed. Nivin Todd, MD, FACOG. N.p.: n.p., 2012. N. pag. WebMD. Web. 11 June 2014. <http://www.webmd.com/baby/interactive-pregnancy-tool-fetal-development>. Timeline and photographs of fetal development.

Walsh, George Ethelbert. Twilight Animal Series: Washer the Raccoon. Philadelphia: John C. Winston Co., 1922. Print. Bedtime story Tanya’s grandfather told her when she was a little girl.