Unsinkable

Happy New Year, readers! I started my day with a little prayer meeting with two sisters in the Lord. We read Psalm 20. It’s short, so I’ll just include it here:

May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
    May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!
² May he send you help from the sanctuary
    and give you support from Zion!
³ May he remember all your offerings
    and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices! Selah

⁴ May he grant you your heart's desire
    and fulfill all your plans!
⁵ May we shout for joy over your salvation,
    and in the name of our God set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!

⁶ Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
    he will answer him from his holy heaven
    with the saving might of his right hand.
⁷ Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
⁸ They collapse and fall,
    but we rise and stand upright.

⁹ O Lord, save the king!
    May he answer us when we call.

When my prayer partner read the verses highlighted in yellow, something in me substituted words for “chariots” and “horses”. All I could think of was all the people who put their faith in the Titanic – that supposedly unsinkable ship. It’s easy for us to scoff at those folks now – hindsight and all that.

But how many of us are trusting in vaccines and boosters to get us out of the mess we’ve been in for nearly two years now? Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not an anti-vaxxer, and please let’s not argue about it. I simply realize that anything human ingenuity comes up with is no substitute for divine intervention.

When I was dealing with addiction in my family, I was cockily confident in the promises of 12 step programs. If I could only convince the alcoholic I loved to buy into the tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous, everything was going to be alright. It took years before I would realize the reason AA has helped so many people is because its principles are Scriptural. Again, it’s the power behind the program which saves lives.

I could go on to mention political institutions and agents, social agendas, forms of government, even superlative preachers. Keep them all, and give me Jesus.

I’ve mentioned before that my late husband, Mike, used to caution me not to “fall in love with the salesman” whenever we were making a major purchase like a car. He knew that sales pitches are just that, but it’s the viability of the product that should drive the sale.

On the eve of 2022, I choose to limit my trust in earthly persons and entities, instead reserving it for the God who has never failed me yet. Unlike the Titanic, He is, quite simply, unsinkable. 

Two Steps Back

Yesterday I posted an article called “One Step Forward,” which related the “adventures” my sister, Jane, and I have been sharing this holiday season. I closed with a reminder that we are called to be content in whatever state in which the Lord places us.

Famous last words.

First, I’d like to correct the record. In rereading yesterday’s piece, it appears I leave the impression I’m actively ill. In truth, this post was started a few weeks ago when that was the case; at present, happily, I am largely asymptomatic. I have also secured an appointment with a specialist in the relatively near future, so hopefully, answers await.

That being the case, yours truly was really pretty upbeat while finalizing said article. The points therein were mainly meant to encourage others to count blessings when things get tough, and to accept bumps in the road as part of the human condition, to which our Savior humbly subjected Himself when He entered this world as an infant.

Again, famous last words.

No sooner did I click “publish” on “One Step Forward” than the proverbial other shoe dropped. Jane and I received word that several of our family members, with whom we shared holiday festivities, have tested positive for COVID. We, of course, are quarantining, popping zinc prophylactically, and generally trying to remain positive. Between praying for our loved ones and offering whatever assistance we can, Jane and I tenaciously cling to hope that next week she will be able to fly home as planned and I can return to work following winter break.

Those are our plans. There is every possibility the God of the universe has something entirely different in mind.

                "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" ~ Isaiah 55:8-9 

Folks, I really do think our great God has a solid sense of humor. More to the point, as my dear friend and Bible mentor taught me years ago, He operates the way any sound instructor does – after imparting a lesson, He administers some sort of exam to drive the learning home.

Beloved readers, I very much want to learn whatever my Lord wants to teach me, and I aim to learn it the easiest way possible.

Apparently, hanging around the house, catching up on reading and writing, spending phone time with friends, and just generally laying low is what the Lord has planned for me this week.

Who am I to question what He ordains? And why would I even want to? Did I mean any of the things I wrote about yesterday?

If so, the wisest course of action for this writer would be to lean into the quietness and stillness of quarantine, and lean even harder into the One who has orchestrated these circumstances.

“Be still and know that I am God.” ~ Psalm 46:10 

Update 12/30/21: My sister and I caught sight of two cardinals - a male/female pair in all their respective splendor - outside our window the other day. There's every chance we would have missed this glorious sight, had we not been quarantining. Our great God always knows what's best.

One Step Forward...

The Pity of It All

My sister, Jane, and I have been in competition this holiday season to see who is the most pitiful.

Not really, but it kind of feels that way. I’ve been trying to shake off a virus – not COVID, so don’t feel too sorry for me – but it did evolve into a bacterial infection. Jane’s been fighting her own good fight not to catch it from me. We’ve both been wiping down surfaces to an extent that would put the OCD detective Adrian Monk to shame.

Below is a photograph of me (cue the canned laughter) wearing a mashed potato poultice. Note the festive tea towel girding my neck. I know it looks silly, but the internet claims it reverses laryngitis – hey, if it’s on the internet… Listen, you scoffers, it worked for the Brady Bunch mom 50 odd years ago! Remember how Mrs. Brady was able to trill “O Come All Ye Faithful” at church on Christmas morning after being voiceless the week before? If it’s good enough for Carol Brady…

My sister, for her part, has been having adventures of her own. That’s her code word for annoying problems of varying degrees. Jane’s adventures have included issues with a rental car (the management, of course, is nowhere to be found); tearing the house apart to locate misplaced items (a problem solved by divine intervention which I’ll relate below); and most recently, being beset by phone problems. Tell me something. If smart phones are so smart, how come they can’t untangle the messes they seem so bent on falling into?

Here’s a snippet of some of our escapades over the holidays:

Thea: Laryngitis starts to abate; cough picks up where froggy throat left off.

Jane: Missing keys are located; cell phone service goes on vacation.

Hence, the title of this article – one step forward, two steps back.

I think it’s fair to say all this drama has left us both a little depressed. Jane’s idea of a Norman Rockwell Christmas probably didn’t include quarantining while her sister took YET ANOTHER COVID test (I’m about ready to make home test kits a budget item). My holiday wish list didn’t feature YET ANOTHER round of masks, gloves and, oh, of course, tension taming tea.

What’s most difficult for me is being out of step with my normal routine and unable to fulfill responsibilities. I missed work, opportunities to be with friends and family (those who are fortunate enough not to be sharing quarters with me, that is – Jane and I had ample time to bond over my vaporizer), and even holiday preparation. Every Christmas I threaten not to send cards, and every year I send a ton of them. This is the first time it’s ever really not happened. I make it a point not to infect recipients just in time for the new year.

Discouragement, too, has been dogging my heels. Doctor visits, after all, were never meant to be a source of entertainment, any more than antibiotics were intended to be soups du jour. My problem has gotten to be a predictable one, something I can count on at least once a year, and that fact alone is disheartening. Like a gentle breeze that gives way to a hurricane, it starts out tickling my throat and can end up in a hospital visit if I don’t get right on it.

Which reminds me – I wrote about this same subject a few years ago. A work injury necessitated a trip to the ER, causing me to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. I traced the source of my discomfort to the “P” word – good old pride. I guess some things never change.

And, Yet…

Sitting in my doctor’s office for the second time in one week, I realized it was time to get back to basics. Stationing myself in a remote corner to avoid alarming patients who were only there to get allergy shots, I took out a scrap of paper and began scribbling a gratitude list. Here’s some of the good stuff I came up with:

1)     My doctor and I have a plan to further diagnose and treat the underlying cause of the regular parties the germ brigade seems to be throwing in my respiratory system. I’ll be seeing another specialist and hopefully getting some answers. How many end stage cancer patients would kill for such glimmers of hope!

2)      I have the best family and friends anyone could wish for. My little fairy godmother down the street, about whom I’ve written before, offers me homemade applesauce just when I’ve run out of the one thing my ailing throat doesn’t complain about. Family members do favors, run errands, make meals, and generally pamper me. My best friend and prayer partner steps into the gap, leading our prayer group and teaching Bible study in my stead.

3)      My employer, too, is among my blessings, coming through with paid sick leave and allowing me to leave early to manage my sick, sorry self.

4)      I’ve found ways to be of service even while down and out. A disabled friend of mine taught me that it’s important to serve in whatever ways one can. Everyone has something to offer, and our great God expects His children to make use of whatever He has given them. Let us remember, “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more” (Luke 12:48). No one is without something to give, even if it is just time or a listening ear. If even those things are impossible, the greatest gift we can give to one another is prayer.

 Not least, these niggling troubles have actually been growth opportunities in disguise. Take, for instance, Jane’s missing key ring, to which I alluded above. Among them was one that powers her rental car. The loss left her housebound and on the hook with the rental company.

Jane and I (mostly Jane) scoured the house, praying as we did so. Not being ones who pray to saints, we skipped over Saint Anthony and took our concerns right to the Lord God Almighty. After going to bed (and between coughing jags), I decided to get up and hunt through our dirty laundry pile. I plunged right into the germy mess and rummaged around. I could have saved myself the trouble, as I later learned Jane had donned gloves (clever girl) and done the same thing.

We both came up empty.

By this time, we had turned over couch cushions (what a crumby mess lay underneath that floral upholstery), rifled through coat pockets, upended trash receptacles – you name it.

I, for one, was out of ideas. Desperate to help the sister who had been tenderly tending me all week, I resumed my conversation with God.

“Lord,” I whined, “neither one of us knows where those keys are. You know they represent mobility and freedom to Jane. She needs them. Could you please show one of us where to look?”

Like a flash, it came to me. The day before, my neighbor had posted on our neighborhood Facebook page a picture of a set of keys she had found. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?

We darted across the street and retrieved the errant keys, giving glory to the One who patiently waits for us to exhaust our own resources and throw the whole matter into His lap. Second Corinthians 12:9 comes to mind:

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Vulnerability and Humility: Archenemies of Pride

I recently took a continuing ed class in which the speaker asserted that courage demands vulnerability. This gave me a lot to ponder, and I decided she was right, as courageous acts leave one vulnerable to defeat and all that goes with it. I would add that vulnerability is also required when one finds oneself dependent on others for that which one is used to doing for oneself. The dependence which arises from being ill or needing help of any kind vastly increases humility on the part of the recipient.

That, my faithful readers, is why I so dislike being sick. I much prefer to do for others and take care of myself. Oh, I don’t mind asking my sons to move a heavy piece of furniture or help me unravel a technology snafu – things like that exceed my capabilities, and I know it. But part of my self-esteem rests on being able to take care of my daily needs and follow through on commitments.

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize God wants me to work on that.

One thing that helps is recalling the vulnerability with which the Son of God came into the world. He put Himself into the most helpless position imaginable, stepping down from deity and into humanity, with all the diaper changing and nose wiping the human condition entails.

I’ve noticed there seems to be a giving and receiving continuum. Some only want to give, refusing help of any kind; others are happy to simply take, without ever giving back. Both states are unbalanced, like a seesaw weighed down on one end. Finding a middle ground seems the most spiritual way. If God incarnate allowed Himself to be needy, even as He came to serve, it seems the height of arrogance for His creatures to err on one side or the other.

Bottom line: we are going to go through periods in which we seem to be stagnating. Illness, tangled business matters, sticky family relationships – all are things which require time and careful attention, and may, in fact, never fully resolve. No amount of whining or petulance will change the fact that some sloughs just have to be slogged through. Shortcuts are lovely when available, but our wise God sometimes allows roadblocks into our lives for a reason.

Sometimes the only way to go is through.

“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:11-13

Check out part 2 of this piece, "Two Steps Back"!

 

Follow the Science?

There's a lot of talk these days about "following the science." 

This has become a popular mantra, often used to castigate those who don't automatically give credence to the latest advice from experts. The CDC insists that a vaccine developed on an emergent basis is safe, secure and the answer to all our prayers, and will halt a virus which seems to have no intention of staying either predictable or at bay. Many clinicians claim that prepubescent children know best about their gender, and that millennia of past expertise have been wrong about the facts of anatomical and chromosomal reality. Individuals who hold differing opinions are often dismissed, disparaged, and lately even canceled. 

For the record, canceling dissenting voices has historically been known as censorship, a tool which has been used very effectively to springboard totalitarian regimes into power and exterminate individual freedom - not to mention individuals themselves. 

All this insistence upon science being gospel has caused me to flip back through the pages of history and investigate some curious views which authorities have held through the ages. Below are a few noteworthy examples in which science got things categorically wrong, jeopardizing the health and well-being of the very people whose best interests it sought to protect. Quick disclaimer: scientists are not in the business of erring intentionally; however, like all of us, they are limited by lack of evidence to the contrary regarding positions they hold at any given time. Science by its nature is constantly evolving. New discoveries either affirm or refute scientific assumptions. Those that stand the test of time - such as Newton's laws - usually remain unquestioned; however, due to the evolutionary nature of science, it behooves the discipline to continuously investigate, rather than insist upon a gavel-striking approach to principles of the day. 

One instance in which science later reversed itself was regarding tobacco. Before they knew better, physicians used to promote cigarettes in advertising campaigns. Research has now shown smoking to be deadly, and no reputable medical practitioner would recommend it.

Experts once believed it was acceptable for women to drink alcohol during pregnancy. That stance was later reversed when evidence surfaced about the danger alcohol poses to the fetus. Likewise, the anti-nausea drug, thalidomide, resulted in untold numbers of birth defects, simply because medical science was unaware of its adverse consequences at the time. Perhaps as a society we should recall such well-intended but egregious medical mistakes before allowing physicians to prescribe puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones for children and surgically remove healthy body parts in the name of gender affirmation. 

Speaking of hormones, doctors used to routinely prescribe them to mitigate unpleasant symptoms of menopause. Having been proven unsafe, estrogen therapy is no longer the "go to" treatment plan for menopausal women. Why, then, are so many practitioners comfortable prescribing hormones off-label for identity-confused youngsters?

This author realizes that the hormone regimen being used in gender dysphoric children differs in many respects from that which was prescribed for midlife women (not completely, however - gender confused males often receive estrogen in order to align their physical appearance with their perceived identity); nevertheless, studies have revealed serious adverse effects from long-term use of sex reassignment hormones.

 

Medicine is not the only branch of science to have erred in its recommendations; anthropology has taken disastrously wrong turns in several notable instances. Various groups have historically been considered subhuman on the basis of race or ethnicity. Grotesque "scientific" experiments and studies were performed on individuals in these groups, treating human beings as if they were lab animals. Once again, science got it terribly, unutterably wrong. 

The instinct to survive is a strong one. It has caused individuals of conscience to stay silent and inactive in the past. With shame, this author must admit to remaining on the sidelines of the gender debate which is sweeping through our institutions at hurricane speed, leaving too many children as maimed as the mutilated toys belonging to Toy Story's reckless Sid. The difference, of course, between sadistic Sid and well-meaning medical professionals who prescribe and carry out hormonal and surgical interventions on minors is that, in the latter case, the goal is to alleviate dysphoric anguish. The intentions are kind - but what of the outcomes? Tragically, many who undergo sex reassignment surgery seek to "detransition" after realizing an altered body didn't cure their pain, and in some cases, even made it worse, leaving them more prone to "mortality, suicide ideation, and psychiatric issues compared to the rest of the population." I fear for the future of our youth if poorly evidenced gender treatment protocols being administered to minors are not called out and checked. My efforts may be inadequate to stop the troubling trend, but at least I will have done my part to try to stem the tide.

I once participated in a seminar in which the speaker urged her audience to contact lawmakers about an important issue. Her admonition to us was, "If we try and fail, at least we can hold our heads up knowing we tried. If we do nothing, we have only ourselves to blame." 

God forbid that should be said of this author. I prefer to stand in the company of individuals like Martin Luther who, when asked to recant his call for reform of the prevailing church of his day, replied, "My conscience is captive to the word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God." 

"Pray for us; for we are confident that we have a good conscience, 

in all things desiring to live honorably." 

- Hebrews 13:18

Check out Do Something by Matthew West. This article is my way of doing something for the next generation.

Love Breaks Through

While I was driving to work recently, the Lord treated me to this dazzling sunrise:

As you can see, I snapped the photo through the windshield of my car, resulting in a shot which, while illuminating the sun in all its splendor, is also framed by the madness that makes up morning rush hour. 

The following closeup (well, as close as I could get to the star we all rely on for life and sustenance, as seen from the mundane perspective of a two ton hunk of steel) captures an extra kind of essence; notice that here, not only is the sun itself on glorious display, but it seems to be emitting a penetrating ray which cuts right through all the traffic and phone lines that complicate our daily existence.

Thankful to be stopped at a light, I grabbed my phone (another modern convenience which, while invaluable in its versatility and immediacy, can also divert our gaze from the most primary need humanity has - connecting with the Creator), and clicked away.

Reflecting on the sun's beauty amidst the chaos we call progress, I recalled a song by Keith Green, Your Love Broke Through. If I had had time to sit and marvel, I would have pulled over for as long as it took to meditate on the grandeur of creation, which is nothing more than a reflection of the glory of its Creator. But, you know, I had to get to work. And even if I hadn't been beholden to the almighty time clock, my day would've been cluttered with the thousands of things on that to do list that holds me captive, always promising an end, but ever expanding even as I tick off items.

Maybe it's time to revisit my last article pondering the tyranny of the urgent. Or maybe just breathe. I'm not necessarily referring to deep breathing, such as we're taught in stress management courses (although that can be helpful). No, what I'm suggesting is that we breathe the way Jonny Diaz's song, Breathe, suggests, by laying aside the urgent and taking whatever precious minutes we can find to just sit at our Lord's feet. Maybe even - heaven forbid - making time to marvel at His majesty. 

I know, I know. The why is obvious; the how is something else again.

I think it's different for each person. I find it helpful to wake up early to pray and read Scripture with a friend. Others' mornings may not be able to accommodate such rituals; my humble suggestion is to pray and ask the Lord to reveal the how that will work in your own life.

I promise you won't be disappointed.

 Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens; praise him in the heights! Praise him, all his angels; praise him, all his hosts!

3 Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars! Praise him, you highest heavens, and you waters above the heavens!

5 Let them praise the name of the Lord! For he commanded and they were created. And he established them forever and ever; he gave a decree, and it shall not pass away.

7 Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all deeps, fire and hail, snow and mist, stormy wind fulfilling his word!

9 Mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars! Beasts and all livestock, creeping things and flying birds! Kings of the earth and all peoples, princes and all rulers of the earth! Young men and maidens together, old men and children!

13 Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted; his majesty is above earth and heaven. He has raised up a horn for his people, praise for all his saints, for the people of Israel who are near to him. 

                                            Praise the Lord!

                                                - Psalm 148

My Take on the Tyranny of the Urgent

I didn't get Monday's to do list finished. Not even close. Lots of loose ends continued dangling, and I added one more for good measure - a popped tire. An act of sheer idiocy on my part - that's all I'm going to say about it.

After AAA came and changed my tire (this was my second claim in as many months - they'd better either make me a stockholder or revoke my membership), I fought off feelings of frustration and tried to work on updating my book proposal for Belabored. 

No, it hasn't yet been published. This is simply the newest iteration of my pitch to hopefully make agents sit up and take notice of a book I believe (if I do say so myself) has great merit and mind-changing potential. 

That said, the proposal at this stage is flatter than my tire was before the AAA guy swapped it with the donut.

Which reminds me - I'm not sure which is falling apart faster, my body or my car's. The tire has now been replaced, but poor Alex has more bumps and bruises than, well, than I do at this point, and that's saying something. My left shoulder is all out of whack, rebelling angrily anytime I tie on an apron or do a jumping jack (then again, my last round of calisthenics happened around the turn of the century, so no worries there). My right wrist, not wanting to be left out, decided to go on strike at the same time. 

But, hey, I can adapt. For instance, I can hold a glass in the left hand while directing traffic with the other. As long as I don't switch up the two, all's well. 

That'll come in handy if I'm ever called upon to bus tables during a pileup.

Getting back to to do lists, Tuesday's didn't fare much better than its predecessor's. In short, life right now is a series of unchecked boxes, a dog paddling routine, a waiting game. Too many agenda items, not all of them essential, but to me they feel important.

Following through on a promise I made to the guy who gave me stellar roadside assistance the other day. Lamenting the fact that I couldn't give him a tip, I took his card and offered to write him a good review. 

Review writing takes time.

Mailing out a check with a tip for the guys who skimmed my friends and me across the back bays of North Cape May last week. The boat ride was enchanting, but we didn't have a dime between us for a tip.

A few dollars, a few more minutes.

Getting this bleeping proposal tweaked and sent off to the publishing house which expressed interest back in June! Admittedly, I haven't just been playing Tiddlywinks all summer; the publisher suggested some market research to gauge interest might make the thing look more appealing to potential agents, so I've been doing that.

Time, time and more time. 

Financial business. Thank goodness I have finances to worry about, but that's just it - if I don't manage them, who will?

Ka ching! Time is money.

Someone once told me when God made time, He made enough of it. If only I could get my gut to agree with my brain on that piece of wisdom.

This blog entry pretty much wrote itself a couple nights ago when yours truly was trying to fall asleep. After taking care of the most pressing priorities, it was either type up my notes for this or work on the proposal.

I didn't even need to flip a coin.

OK, changing gears now. I no longer feel like being amusing (assuming I was successful in that effort in the first place). Having paused the article after that last sentence, I received news of a situation requiring my action in short order. Neither the circumstances nor the deadline excites me; quite the opposite, in fact. I now have a major new obstacle redirecting me from what I thought was my top priority, the book proposal (alright, so I back burnered that in favor of blogging - what of it?). 

I hear myself sounding whiny, and feel disinclined to change my tone. I am whining, doggone it! As I suspect is the case with many writers, it's extremely difficult to rouse oneself into the writing mode when one has gotten out of practice. Perhaps it's like riding a bike in some ways - the skill does come back quickly, but not without a few tumbles and the need to reacquaint oneself with the basic mechanics of the job. When that process keeps getting interrupted, the whole re-learning curve takes that much longer.

The Tyranny of the Urgent comes to mind. I once blogged about that subject, and am feeling the same kind of angst that I did then. 

My mother once pined after Dad was admitted, yet again, to the hospital through the ER, "Where do I go to accept this?"

I find myself reshaping Mom's question thusly: "Where do I go to prioritize all this?" 

The answer was then and still is the same: the cross.

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

Proverbs 16:9

Suicide in the Scriptures

Hi beloved readers,

In obedience to the Lord, I have prepared the following notes to be presented tomorrow morning in the Bible study I lead. Excuse the imperfections in the outline format; instead, focus on the message. I believe God wants all of us to complete the years He intends for us and stay the course. I pray any who are contemplating "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" will stop long enough to skim this material and think again. 

God bless you, and remember, life really is worth living!

Note: these concepts are adapted with deep appreciation from the following: 

https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/bible-says-about-suicide.html

Bible Study 8/14/21: Suicide in the Scriptures

A.   Bible characters who chose suicide:

 1)    Samson’s suicide after yielding to lust and pride:

Judges 16:28-30: “Then Samson called to the Lord and said, “O Lord God, please remember me and please strengthen me only this once, O God, that I may be avenged on the Philistines for my two eyes.” ²⁹ And Samson grasped the two middle pillars on which the house rested, and he leaned his weight against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other. ³⁰ And Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines.” Then he bowed with all his strength, and the house fell upon the lords and upon all the people who were in it. So, the dead whom he killed at his death were more than those whom he had killed during his life.”

2)    Abimelech’s suicide after making a power grab and being mortally wounded by a woman:

     Judges 9:50-54: “Then Abimelech went to Thebez and encamped against Thebez and         captured it. ⁵¹ But there was a strong tower within the city, and all the men and women and      all the leaders of the city fled to it and shut themselves in, and they went up to the roof of         the tower. ⁵² And Abimelech came to the tower and fought against it and drew near to the         door of the tower to burn it with fire. ⁵³ And a certain woman threw an upper millstone on         Abimelech's head and crushed his skull. ⁵⁴ Then he called quickly to the young man his          armor-bearer and said to him, “Draw your sword and kill me, lest they say of me, ‘A woman      killed him.’” And his young man thrust him through, and he died.”

 3)    King Saul’s suicide after being wounded and losing his sons in battle with Israel’s enemies, the Philistines:

1 Samuel 31:1-4: “Now the Philistines were fighting against Israel, and the men of Israel fled before the Philistines and fell slain on Mount Gilboa. ² And the Philistines overtook Saul and his sons, and the Philistines struck down Jonathan and Abinadab and Malchi-shua, the sons of Saul. ³ The battle pressed hard against Saul, and the archers found him, and he was badly wounded by the archers. ⁴ Then Saul said to his armor-bearer, “Draw your sword, and thrust me through with it, lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and mistreat me.” But his armor-bearer would not, for he feared greatly. Therefore, Saul took his own sword and fell upon it.”

4)    Ahithophel’s suicide after his commanding officer, Absalom, spurned his counsel:

2 Samuel 17:23: ^“When Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his donkey and went off home to his own city. He set his house in order and hanged himself, and he died and was buried in the tomb of his father.”

5)    Zimri’s suicide after assassinating the king of Israel and usurping the throne (think Hitler’s suicide – when all was lost, he chose to take his own life rather than face the consequences of his actions):

 

1 Kings 16:15-19: “In the twenty-seventh year of Asa king of Judah, Zimri reigned seven days in Tirzah. Now the troops were encamped against Gibbethon, which belonged to the Philistines, ¹⁶ and the troops who were encamped heard it said, “Zimri has conspired, and he has killed the king.” Therefore, all Israel made Omri, the commander of the army, king over Israel that day in the camp. ¹⁷ So Omri went up from Gibbethon, and all Israel with him, and they besieged Tirzah. ¹⁸ And when Zimri saw that the city was taken, he went into the citadel of the king's house and burned the king's house over him with fire and died, ¹⁹ because of his sins that he committed, doing evil in the sight of the Lord, walking in the way of Jeroboam, and for his sin which he committed, making Israel to sin.”

 

6)    Judas’s suicide after betraying Christ:

Matthew 27:3-5: “Then when Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus^[a] was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, ⁴ saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” They said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” ⁵ And throwing down the pieces of silver into the temple, he departed, and he went and hanged himself.”

B.    Some Bible characters who contemplated suicide, and how God enabled them to carry on (this list is not exhaustive):

 

1)    Moses when overwhelmed with responsibility:

Numbers 11:11-14: Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? ¹² Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me, ‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers? ¹³ Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’ ¹⁴ I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me. ¹⁵ If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.”

God’s answer: stop trying to go it alone!

Numbers 11:16-17: “Then the Lord said to Moses, “Gather for me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and officers over them, and bring them to the tent of meeting, and let them take their stand there with you. ¹⁷ And I will come down and talk with you there. And I will take some of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them, and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you may not bear it yourself alone.”

2)    Job when everything that mattered was taken from him:

Job 3:1-26: “After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. ² And Job said: ³ “Let the day perish on which I was born, and the night that said, ‘A man is conceived.’ ⁴ Let that day be darkness! May God above not seek it, nor light shine upon it. ⁵ Let gloom and deep darkness claim it. Let clouds dwell upon it; let the blackness of the day terrify it. ⁶ That night—let thick darkness seize it! Let it not rejoice among the days of the year; let it not come into the number of the months. ⁷ Behold, let that night be barren; let no joyful cry enter it. ⁸ Let those curse it who curse the day, who are ready to rouse up Leviathan. ⁹ Let the stars of its dawn be dark; let it hope for light, but have none, nor see the eyelids of the morning, ¹⁰ because it did not shut the doors of my mother's womb, nor hide trouble from my eyes. ¹¹ “Why did I not die at birth, come out from the womb and expire? ¹² Why did the knees receive me? Or why the breasts, that I should nurse? ¹³ For then I would have lain down and been quiet; I would have slept; then I would have been at rest, ¹⁴ with kings and counselors of the earth who rebuilt ruins for themselves, ¹⁵ or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver.
¹⁶ Or why was I not as a hidden stillborn child, as infants who never see the light? ⁷ There the wicked cease from troubling, and there the weary are at rest. ¹⁸ There the prisoners are at ease together; they hear not the voice of the taskmaster. ¹⁹ The small and the great are there, and the slave is free from his master. ²⁰ “Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter in soul, ²¹ who long for death, but it comes not, and dig for it more than for hidden treasures, ²² who rejoice exceedingly and are glad when they find the grave? ²³ Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? ²⁴ For my sighing comes instead of^[a] my bread, and my groanings are poured out like water. ²⁵ For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. ²⁶ I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest, but trouble comes.” See also Job 7, Job 10

Principles Job used to “talk himself down off the ledge”:

a.    God has big shoulders – be honest with Him!

Job 13:14-15: “Why should I take my flesh in my teeth and put my life in my hand? ¹⁵ Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.”

b.    Remember Who is still in charge.

Job 16:19: “Even now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and he who testifies for me is on high.”

c.    Think about what may happen after you take your life.

Job 17:13-16: “If I hope for Sheol [i.e., the grave] as my house, if I make my bed in darkness, ¹⁴ if I say to the pit, ‘You are my father,’ and to the worm, ‘My mother,’ or ‘My sister,’ ¹⁵ where then is my hope? Who will see my hope? ¹⁶ Will it go down to the bars of Sheol? Shall we descend together into the dust?”

d.    Remember this life is not all there is. There is life after death, and we can look forward to seeing God AFTER our work here is done.

Job 19:25-27: “For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. ²⁶ And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in^[c] my flesh I shall see God, ²⁷ whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another.”

e.    Consider how God may be using what you’re going through.

Job 23:9-15: “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; ⁹ on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. ¹⁰ But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. ¹¹ My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside. ¹² I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food. ¹³ But he is unchangeable,^[b] and who can turn him back? What he desires, that he does. ¹⁴ For he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind. ¹⁵ Therefore I am terrified at his presence; when I consider, I am in dread of him.”

f.     Don’t kid yourself that you’re more powerful than God.

Job 26:14: “Behold, these are but the outskirts of his ways, and how small a whisper do we hear of him! But the thunder of his power who can understand?”

g.    Ask other believers for help!

Job 30:24, 28: “Yet does not one in a heap of ruins stretch out his hand, and in his disaster cry for help? …  I stand up in the assembly and cry for help.”

h.    Let God be God.

Job 42:1-3: “Then Job answered the Lord and said: ² “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ³ ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore, I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”

3)    Jeremiah when he was beaten and put in the stocks for sharing the message God gave him.

Jeremiah 20:14-18: “Cursed be the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed! ¹⁵ Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father, “A son is born to you,” making him very glad. ¹⁶ Let that man be like the cities that the Lord overthrew without pity; let him hear a cry in the morning and an alarm at noon, ¹⁷ because he did not kill me in the womb; so my mother would have been my grave, and her womb forever great. ¹⁸ Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?”

God’s answer: Stay the course! This won’t last forever.

Jeremiah 29:11-13:  ^“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare^[b] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 31:13,16-17: “I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow… Thus says the Lord: “Keep your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears, for there is a reward for your work, declares the Lord, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy. ¹⁷ There is hope for your future, declares the Lord…”

Principles Jeremiah used to “talk himself down off the ledge”:

a.    Remember the character of God.

 

Lamentations 3:22-26, 31-32: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; ²³ they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ²⁴ “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” ²⁵ The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

²⁶ It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord… For the Lord will not cast off forever, ³² but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love…”

b.    Recall God’s past deliverance.

 Lamentations 3:55-58: “I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit; ⁵⁶ you heard my plea, ‘Do not close your ear to my cry for help!’ ⁵⁷ You came near when I called on you; you said, ‘Do not fear!’ ⁵⁸ “You have taken up my cause, O Lord; you have redeemed my life.

 c.    Trust Him to fight for you!

 Lamentations 3:64-66: “You will repay them,^[c] O Lord, according to the work of their hands. ⁶⁵ You will give them dullness of heart; your curse will be on them. ⁶⁶ You will pursue them in anger and destroy them from under your heavens, O Lord.”

d.    Remember Who is still in charge.

Lamentations 5:19: “But you, O Lord, reign forever; your throne endures to all generations.”

4)    Paul when he was discouraged in his ministry.

2 Corinthians 5:1-8: “For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. ² For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our ^[b]habitation which is from heaven, ³ if indeed, having been clothed, we shall not be found naked. ⁴ For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life. ⁵ Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as ^]a guarantee. ⁶ So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. ⁷ For we walk by faith, not by sight. ⁸ We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.”

Principle Paul used to “talk himself down off the ledge”:

a.    Think how your suicide will affect others.

Philippians 1:21-26: “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ²² But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I ^[d]cannot tell. ^23 [e]For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. ²⁴ Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. ²⁵ And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith, ²⁶ that your rejoicing for me may be more abundant in Jesus Christ by my coming to you again.”

Reward for Paul’s staying the course:

2 Timothy 4:6-8: “For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.”

Conclusions:

1.    People who committed suicide in the Scriptures generally had poor character and are not to be admired or emulated.

2.    Many Bible heroes contemplated suicide but did not act on those impulses. Rather, they sought help and found ways to “talk themselves down from the ledge.”

3.    How wonderful to come to the end of your life knowing you lived out all the days God intended for you, and that He will reward believers for staying the course!