The men in my church take a protective attitude towards women. One way this shows up is in the way we "do" prayer meeting. In sad contrast to the prayer gatherings of other churches I've attended, a large percentage of men from my church can and do come out on a regular basis.Prayer, if you haven't noticed, is not specified by the Bible as an activity exclusive to women. Yet, to see the way many men avoid this weekly, one hour gathering, you'd think perhaps it was a baby shower rather than a meeting with the God of the universe.
No, wait. Recent baby showers I've attended have included men, and were better populated by Y chromosome bearers than a lot of prayer meetings I've been involved with.
If I sound angry, I am. As a single mom who raised two sons, I resent the failure of some men to step up when it comes to prayer. Now, I know resentment is a character flaw, one cautioned against in the Bible, and yes, I'm working on it. Perhaps this piece is one way for me to exorcise some of the negative feelings I carry surrounding this issue.
Don't misunderstand. I had boku help with raising my boys. Many men of the church I attended at the time (not to mention the males in my family) showed great interest and offered much insight and assistance - I mean, concrete assistance - in the formation of my sons' characters. These were God-fearing fellows who took seriously their responsibility to assist widows and orphans - which we were essentially, if not technically. I, however, had not yet realized the importance of weekly prayer, so couldn't tell you how many of those blessed men showed up when the doors were open on Wednesday nights.
But I'll bet it was more than a few.
Sadly, I personally have more or less begged a number of men - including pastors, on whose watches prayer meetings were regularly taking place, but who could not find time to attend - to bless us and God with their presence. I even played the "L" card, citing how much it would mean to have our leaders actually lead us in this essential activity. Responses ranged from excuses about scheduling conflicts (isn't there something in the Bible about if you're too busy to pray, you're too busy? Oh, and here's a novel concept - how about not scheduling other activities on the same night as prayer meeting), to excuses about not being "gifted" in this area (since when is appealing to the Almighty a gift given only to a select few?), to - I shudder to recall this one - cold stares.
But I digress.
The purpose of this post, which seems to have taken a muddy turn into a scathing rebuke of male refusal to step up in this crucial area, is to commend the church I currently attend for the way men run our prayer meeting.
No church gets it right in every area. That's why Christ had to die for the church in general, and all of us flawed humans in particular. Sure, there are issues on which my church and I differ, but the one matter on which we find full agreement is the necessity of prayer in the life of a congregation.
And I do mean life.
Without prayer, a church can fall prey to languishing at best and descending into deep sin at worst.
And it should not be up to the women of the church to carry this heavy, discipline-demanding ball single-handedly.
That's why God didn't let Adam get away with passing the buck to Eve about gobbling up that forbidden fruit. Oh, he tried, but God hadn't forgotten the order He established, naming Adam the leader and Eve the "help meet."
My church understands this, and that's why a bunch of men show up on a regular basis to run prayer meeting.
I can hear some of my feminist friends screaming that this practice is paternalistic, that women should have as much right to lead church gatherings as men. I'm going to steer clear of this issue, not because I feel the need to dodge it, but because it's secondary to the point I'm trying to make. While Scripture clearly asserts that men are charged with taking the helm in the church setting, many would debate the relevance of this directive to a culture vastly different from that of the first century in which those words were penned. My purpose is not to argue whether this was a cultural admonition that has since lost its validity, or whether it can stand the test of time (as if a time-defining God needed to defend His Word against such things as passage of time or cultural shifts).
Rather, my point is simply to thank the few men who clear their schedules and their throats in order to lead the church they love in the very vital activity of prayer.
But I felt my husband's willingness to care for me and for our children in that simple gesture. Most couples today are chore-sharing, bread-winning partnerships; family life has evolved, and I doubt the structure of this institution will ever return to the pre-feminism patterns of the 50's - and maybe it shouldn't. As so many marriages fell short of the guidelines established in Ephesians for success, it became necessary for women to demand a level playing field in the workplace so they and their children could survive.
But even as women have donned military uniforms and hardhats, I daresay many of us still appreciate strong arms of support from loving men after a hard day on that tough playing field.
So, when the men of my church take the lead role in our weekly prayer gatherings, I, for one, want to thank them. For taking the time. For taking the initiative. And for taking care.
Our society could use more of those things.
