It’s been a rough couple of
weeks. In the space of seven days, our family laid to rest an ancient, adopted
puppy (whose tiny stature and feather weight belied her 17 years) and a scaly,
bug-eyed bearded dragon, whose winsome personality proved that beauty – and lack
thereof – is only skin deep.
The aging canine was our
neighbor’s elderly Shih Tzu, Dusty Miller, who spent many a night warming our
beds and hearts. She lay with my father as he suffered from heart disease and
diabetes that ultimately claimed him. Dusty came as a set with her human mom,
Anita, whom my kids call Grandma and I call my fairy godmother, because she
stepped into our lives after my own mom died and stuck around to help raise my
kids and spirits after Dad succumbed to his final illness.
Yes, Dusty was much more than a dog to us.
The following Friday, my son,
Aaron, and soon-to-be daughter-in-law, Elise, called with heavy hearts. On their
way out of town to meet up with the bridal party, they had to pause long enough
to deal with the death of their pet lizard, whom they spent many dollars and hours
trying to make well. Elise had bought Chewy (short for Chewbacca, like in the
movie) to keep company with her irascible bearded dragon, Bacon. Chewy bore
with equanimity, and perhaps even egged on, Bacon’s head bobbing challenges
from his tank across the room.
While I never knew Chewy to take
a stand on social issues, she did seem to experience some significant gender
confusion. Since it’s hard to tell a lizard’s sex, we relied on behavior cues,
but Chewy seemed to buy into the social police’s assertions that there is no
typical male or female behavior; thus, to be politically correct, we changed up
our pronouns on a regular basis.
We all found his/her clinginess
touching. No, maybe I should make that touchy
– her M.O. when retrieved from the tank was to hang on for dear life to shoulder,
leg, head, or whatever body part he was perched on. In short, her rough, bumpy
exterior disguised a cuddly heart underneath. Elise summed it up best when, through
tears, she explained, “People don’t understand why we’re so upset about Chewy.
They’re right that he was only a lizard. But he was ours.”
This morning, while
listening to Max Lucado's 3:16: The Numbers of Hope on audio, I marveled at the wisdom of
the following story: the author hearkened back to a trend that was popular when
my kids were small – tethering young children to their parental unit when out
in public places where it would be easy to lose track of scampering feet. I
well remember the shocked looks and gasps of disbelief when other shoppers
observed the, let’s face it, leash I painstakingly
Velcro-ed to mischievous wrists to keep them from disappearing into pre-holiday
crowds. Lucado rightly characterized the thinking behind the action as both protective
and possessive, as though the tie-er
were claiming ownership of the tie-ee,
regardless of how preferable it might have seemed at times to cut the wanderer
loose and let him fend for himself. Loving parents don’t do that, despite all
the yanking and cranking they endure from wayward children. They resist the
urge because love for their little delinquent overcomes the memories of how
easy life was before Junior came along.
That’s what it all comes
down to. We love our children and pets not because of how they act or look, but
despite those things. In my work as a special educator, I’m quite aware that
every kid I come in contact with is somebody’s child. These little imps can
make it a real scavenger hunt to find something likable or even tolerable to
recommend them, but because others took time to uncover the nuggets of gold
buried deep underneath my own kids’ annoyances, I try to pay that kindness
forward. I have yet to find a student whose armor couldn’t be breached by a
kind word, a reward for getting it right, or a well-applied disciplinary
measure when all else failed.
As Elise observed, we do it because they're ours. I would add, God did it because we're His.
“But
God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners,
Christ died for us.” ~ Romans 5:8
“What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”
~ Psalm 8:4
~ Psalm 8:4
For more like this, check out: Morsels for Meditation...: They Just Want a Bow